Thoughts and Reflections of a modern layman

Category: Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts Dec 2nd 2019

Seems to me the world is going through some changes in society, Extreme views in one direction or another and not enough moderate or centralistic thinking. Even if extreme thinking is necessary sometimes for change it should at least be tempered with compassion and reason. People need to be less sensitive to what others say and focus more on mutual respect for one another.

We are a diverse species, we have a multitude of beliefs systems, cultures and philosophies. We should respect each persons right to believe how they chose. We do not have to agree with one another or with the choices of others but we should have respect for one another and our right to be individuals. We should understand that not everyone will agree with our decision, choices, preferences and or way of life and vice versa.

We should love and respect one another as is, but in today’s world it seems love and acceptance is conditional. Love should never be conditional and tolerance should go both ways. WE should learn to be less judgemental and when we do judge one another we should learn to do so compassionately and with a kind heart. Life may not always be fair, but how we treat each other is solely in our hands. Whe should remember to treat others with the respect and compassion we hope others will show us.

Random Thoughts (11-06-2019)

Friends are an important part of the journey we call life, without friends our emotional and spiritual development would be stunted if not slowed to a crawl. Friends introduce different beliefs, perspectives and in best scenarios an emotional support system to help us cope with life and all of its trials.

Friends come in many flavors and levels, some friends are like extensions of our own psyche, some play the devil’s advocate to help broaden our mental and emotional horizons. When we are young friends come and go a lot faster than as we age, It seems the older we get the less trusting we get or the less willing we become to allowing people into our lives due to negative experiences. Closing ourselves off to the possibility of friends and the benefits of friendships only adds to the feeling of being alienated, unwanted and leads to loneliness.

The more one closes themselves off from the world and friends the more bitterness, apathy, and unhappiness takes root in our hearts. We need to learn to let go of the negative experiences, forgive those that have done us harm and most of all forgive ourselves for the things we regret. We need to open ourselves up to the possibility of new friends, new experiences and to be free from our past. Live in the here and now and leave the past where it belongs. Learn from mistakes and learn not to let those mistakes control our present and future.

Forgiveness, compassion, understanding and the desire to be happy should be the core of our personal philosophy and the building blocks to our way of life. Focus on our own shortcomings and learn to overlook the shortcomings of others, We can not change anyone but ourselves. We though can be a good example for others and be supportive of those in need of support.

Once again this modern layman put his random thoughts out there for you all to read. Make of it what you will and be blessed

Random Thoughts 11/5/19

life in modern times has became quite complicated in so many ways, where there was once 1 or 2 options there is a multitude. Where once fear and anger was a small percentage of our lives and world it has now grown quite extensively. It seems people rather hate, fear and point fingers at one another than to reach their hands out in friendship or seek solutions to the current dilemmas facing our society.

Regardless of what sex, race or nationality one is born with / into we all are of the same species, not one is greater or lesser and none are without fault nor virtue. To judge others by such is wrong and never brings to light the truth of who or what the person actually is. Ones words and actions are the true indicator of who and what they are.

In a world with so much disinformation, fake news and politically controlled agendas on the internet and psyop operations by multiple governments the ability to sort the truth / facts from the false and incorrect information is nearly impossible for most people. The rule of thumb in sorting fact from fiction is to look to multiple reliable sources of information and to always be suspect of any information until you can prove it is true.

In a world like we live in it is prudent to see all life as valuable and all people as equal. To belittle one in order to raise another is like putting eating above priority to breathing or vice versa. We must eat and breath to live, one is not of greater importance to the other. Sure if ya stopped breathing you may die faster but stop eating you will die as well. So each are equally important to survival and the same goes for people, each one of us plays a part in the grand scheme of life and no matter how small a cog a person is in the machine it is an important piece of the whole.

Well that is my Random thoughts for now, I am but a layman in the modern world seeking that which i am to find. I wish you all a wonderful day, happiness and peace

Dovestar / Ray Barbier

Treat others with kindness and respect

To judge another person by your standards and ethics in itself is very unfair. As individuals we all are raised by different parents, having different experiences and come to form our own values, opinions and standards. Sure there should be some basic standards / values we all share as humans but how we interpret them and execute them is still influenced by our own experiences.

For some reason many people focus on the differences between themselves and others around them, be it religious beliefs, moral codes or just social behavior etc. Doing such they become quite blind to the things we all share in common. Labeling one another is a bad habit society seems to have. So many ways one can be branded / labeled in this world. From religious belief, skin tone, nationality and even far as the clothes one wears or the color of their eyes and hair.

I find it quite sad when people quickly make judgements of others due to how they look or what they believe. If you are going to judge one another, judge each other by the way you treat one another. And always remember there is not one of us alive that can claim they are perfect or without some sort of shortcoming. I was taught if I am to judge that I should do it with great mercy and forgiveness, who knows if one day the one you judge may be the one that judges you. Mercy shown usually leads to mercy being returned.

We all may be different, but we all bleed, we all feel pain, joy, sadness , happiness and so on. Most of us seek a peaceful and happy life for ourselves and our children.

If you must judge others then Remember to get to know them well before you do. Treat others with kindness and respect and live your life in a way that will be a great example for others to follow.

To lean on others is not a sign of weakness

One of the biggest enemies of success and happiness is doubting ourselves and having the lack of confidence in our ability to choose.  Walking through life with fear and without self-confidence makes for a very unhappy life. Without self-confidence we become wandering and unfocused, we have no direction in life.

What creates self-doubt and causes our self-confidence to dissipate? There are internal and external forces that play a part in such, most of the time it is either a period of time that we failed more than we could handle or we were told repeatedly by our peers that we were in some way deficient or inferior to others.

More than likely it was a combination of those two along with other experiences in our lives. I myself had to face my peers being degrading and did not accept me for who I was as a teen and child. As teens humans are quite cruel, though I do not think poorly of any of those whom played a part of such. When you’re a teen there is a lot of pressure to fit in, to be cool and it is when we develop our social skills. It is all part of the process of growing up and finding your place in society.

Regardless of where the self doubting began or how it took root within your mind matters less than how to correct such improper and negative thinking.  First off if you have any anger or hold any grudges against anyone who was a part of the problem, you have to forgive them and let them go in order to release yourself from the negative emotions tied to the experience. Those negative emotions will do nothing but block you from moving forward.

I have found many of those whom were mean or those who acted poorly towards me in my youth grew up to become some of the greatest people one could know. Also sometimes those who we thought were being mean really were nice people who were trying to keep from suffering the same fate as we faced. Fear of rejection or the fear of not being accepted is one of the most common fears among youths and some adults as well.

To rebuild ones confidence is not simple nor is it a quick task to complete. If you have friends and family that are supportive, those in your life that frequently give you praise or show gratitude for your efforts you should surround yourself with those kind of people. You should when possible avoid negative people who tend to bring you down emotionally, especially the ones that try to belittle you. In time once you rebuilt your confidence it wont matter much what others say be it complimentary or demeaning.

In life one must learn that to lean on others is not a sign of weakness but that it is a sign of wisdom. Humanity would have been extinct a long time ago if we didn’t learn to lean on one another and to combine our strengths as a group. Rebuilding confidence is different for each one of us, what works for one may not always work for another. But to seek help is wise and to find your own path is the best way.

I wish you well on your Journey Through Life and I leave you with a Quote from John Donne’s Meditation XVII:

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were: any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.

~John Donne: Meditation XVII

Take me as I am or move along, for this is me and that is all

Sometimes life makes us feel insignificant, unnoticed and almost invisible . Our minds get trapped in this belief and self perpetuates the negative mentality. When that happens just shake it off for there is no one exactly like you in all of existence. You are unique, one of a kind so that negative thinking is nothing but your mind failing to see the truth around it. Yes, there are those who wont accept you or like you no matter what you say or do, those people are loosing out on a good opportunity to get to know yet another unique individual. Worry little over such things as if someone likes you or not, just treat others respectfully and be a good person that is what matters in the long run. Popularity may have its perks but they are short-lived just like the social status it brings. No one stays on top for ever so why bother seeking out something so temporary and unimportant. To be honest I believe being popular and in the spot light is far more stressful and problematic than it appears. To always worry about what people think, to have to work at remaining in the social spotlight and denying yourself the pleasure of being who you are for the sake of being popular seems kind of depressing if not plain silly.  If they can not love and accept you as who you truly are then they are not accepting you at all. It’s all an illusion and a fake plastic like reality. Give me being average and my self over being someone I am not just for the sake of being popular any day. Take me as I am or move along, for this is me and that’s all your going to get.

You have to learn to love and accept who you are before you will find those who will do the same.

Ray Barbier

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