Dove’s Thoughts 12-12-2022

person sitting outdoors

Why all the stigma around mental health? Why do people have to be so cruel to those that just need a little help? We all need a little help now and then (even if some folks won’t ever admit it). There is no shame in admitting you need help and asking for it is the best thing to do. Life can be quite challenging at times, and our hearts and minds can be somewhat fragile at times as well. Getting help shows courage and demonstrates you have the strength to do what is needed to move forward in your life.

We face so much negativity in life, and a good part of it is during our youth, during the years we are developing our emotional and mental makeup and forming our personality as well. School years can be both the most wonderful and also the most dangerous time for us as individuals. During those years we form social bonds and face opposition from others in the form of bullying and social stereotyping. This is when we tend to gain many emotional and mental scars and problems. If we do not learn to overcome them eventually they just get worse as we age.

With all the suicides and gun violence and other forms of violence on the rise, it should be very apparent there is a need for more extensive mental health programs for all ages. Parents and teachers alike should be more observant and responsive to signs of depression, being bullied, and psychotic behavior. If we can catch a lot of the problems early we may avert the negative outcome that many may have to experience later in their lives. More has to be done both on the local and federal levels to make mental health services easier and more affordable to access so we can get a handle on this mental health problem our nation is facing.

Just remember the next time you see someone who needs help don’t just laugh at them or ignore them, instead try to help them find the help they need.

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Guilt and anger are both heavy weights to bear

DSC_0337Be good to your friends, family and those around you, for you do not know when your time to go will come or theirs. Constantly remind yourself how important your friends and family are so you do not take them for granted. Be kind to others and do it sincerely so when your time comes to go you will be remembered as the great person you are and not for your mistakes. Forgive yourself, and others for guilt and anger are both heavy weights to bear through life. Besides the fact our time on earth is short if not brief, the negative emotions we harbor shortens or lifetime by eating away at the body. Plenty of medical research has been done on the effects of emotions on the human body both positive and negative. Besides what we eat, what we think, say and do can change our physical and our mental health as well.  Plus being more of a positive force in the world tends to bring happiness to all involved and that in itself is a reward worth seeking.

We can either be a part of the problem, an unproductive part of society or a part of the solution when it comes to life and its problems. The choice is ours alone which path we follow and how we interact with others on our journey trough life.

Ray Barbier

Guilt, Mistakes and Self Forgiveness

027 Self forgiveness is something that very few of us ever practice, forgiving one’s self seems to be a much harder task than to forgive others. Why does it seem that to forgive some one is much easier than to forgive our own mistakes and transgressions?  For some reason we tend to be much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. We must realize that like everyone else we are not perfect and therefore we will make mistakes and should learn from those mistakes but not allow those mistakes to control our lives.  We can focus on our positive attributes and our achievements instead of on our mistakes and our negative aspects.  Mistakes being a part of the natural learning process that we all go through and they are beneficial in learning what we should not do.  So making mistakes is something that we all must face in this life that we live.

  Guilt which is an aftereffect of making a mistake is suppose to be a short lived emotion to help us remember that we had made that mistake.  Guilt is not supposed to be a lifelong emotion and if it becomes one it changes from a beneficial emotion into a destructive emotion.  Suffering Guilt for a long period of time is devastating to a persons self-esteem and their personal happiness. Accept the mistakes that you have made, then learn from them and try not to repeat them is about all one can do. Everybody makes mistakes and everyone faces guilt from time to time and that my friend is what being human is all about.

Well till next time

Peace R. Barbier

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship

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  There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, parent, child or lover and holding on to that belief only keeps someone from enjoying life and those who are in it. If we would learn to accept the fact the person we love and care about is human and will have many flaws we might be happier in our relationships. We can not expect anyone to adhere to the standards of perfection we have in our mind. Each person has both great qualities and potential as well as a bad side to their personality. We all suffer from a bad side and there is not one person here on earth who is perfect. We all should show respect to others and have self respect as well. Respect for each other is a very important part of any relationship, without respect a relationship will fall apart eventually.

Respect yourself and all others and love without condition along with understanding. Try to see things through the eyes of others and realize that sometimes there is more there than meets the eye. Never expect perfection from yourself or others. This is not to say you cant have high standards for yourself and others but be realistic in the standards you set. If you set the bar too high then you or they will never reach the goal or standard. Also remember relationships are a partnership so you must work together to make the relationship work and to improve its quality.

“Love yourself and others for who and what they are”

R. Barbier

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