Dove’s Thoughts 12-12-2022

person sitting outdoors

Why all the stigma around mental health? Why do people have to be so cruel to those that just need a little help? We all need a little help now and then (even if some folks won’t ever admit it). There is no shame in admitting you need help and asking for it is the best thing to do. Life can be quite challenging at times, and our hearts and minds can be somewhat fragile at times as well. Getting help shows courage and demonstrates you have the strength to do what is needed to move forward in your life.

We face so much negativity in life, and a good part of it is during our youth, during the years we are developing our emotional and mental makeup and forming our personality as well. School years can be both the most wonderful and also the most dangerous time for us as individuals. During those years we form social bonds and face opposition from others in the form of bullying and social stereotyping. This is when we tend to gain many emotional and mental scars and problems. If we do not learn to overcome them eventually they just get worse as we age.

With all the suicides and gun violence and other forms of violence on the rise, it should be very apparent there is a need for more extensive mental health programs for all ages. Parents and teachers alike should be more observant and responsive to signs of depression, being bullied, and psychotic behavior. If we can catch a lot of the problems early we may avert the negative outcome that many may have to experience later in their lives. More has to be done both on the local and federal levels to make mental health services easier and more affordable to access so we can get a handle on this mental health problem our nation is facing.

Just remember the next time you see someone who needs help don’t just laugh at them or ignore them, instead try to help them find the help they need.

Advertisement

Dovestar’s Ramblings 11-9-2022

There are many things in life we have little to no ability to change or affect. There are things though, that we have complete control over in our lives and that is where we should focus our energy on. For example, you may have no control over how others perceive you or how they think about you in general, but you do have control over how you treat other people and how you view yourself. One would hope that how we act and treat others, and the words we chose to have some influence on the opinions of others but in the end, it is something that is out of our control.

Basically, your life is yours to lead, and how you live it has a great influence on how much happiness you have in life. You can live your life selfishly, find some quick self-gratification and temporary bliss from possessions and wealth or you can choose to live a more selfless and humble life. Not everyone is cut out to be like a monk and live without any sort of possessions and be totally selfless, but we can find a balance between serving the ego and serving others.

I believe that we all have been given life not only to live and experience all it has to give but also to be stewards of the earth and to teach, help and love one another. Each one of us has a part to play in this grand design of life and each part is unique to each person. Some of us are here to teach, some are here to heal, and so on. Discovery your the part you are to play is not always easy but usually the gifts you were given usually give you clues as to what you are supposed to be doing in life. One example is if you have a natural talent for playing the piano, you could be here to give people entertainment or teach others how to play the piano or you may write a song that changes the minds of others.

Life can be complicated and so can how your mind works, the mind can be your best asset and it also can be an obstacle. Many people battle with depression, low self-esteem, and poor self-image and that will make it an uphill battle in finding happiness in life. Most of us face the memories of past mistakes and the regrets that come from them and many times we face trauma from past experiences that we have a hard time letting go of as well. And once again we come to things we can not change, things in our past are set and won’t change o matter how much we wish they would. Though we can not change the past, we can change how we deal with those past experiences and memories, how we process them, and how they affect us in the present.

We must let go of our past mistakes and the traumatic experiences we suffered due to circumstances and others. Forgiveness is one step in putting those things behind you, you must forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and forgive others for what they had done as well. Forgiving others serves to free you from the hurt and pain others brought on you more than to free them of guilt. Think about it, how many times have you done something wrong and had been forgiven but yet hold on to the regret? That’s because you haven’t forgiven yourself, so you haven’t released yourself from the grief associated with your mistakes. So forgiving someone is more beneficial to you than it is for the person you are forgiving in the long run.

You can also look at it this way, if the person feels no regret over what they did to you in the first place, then how is the person you are forgiving gaining from your forgiveness? It is about letting go of the hurt, pain, and anger you hold towards the person that has done you wrong in the end. Also Just because you forgave someone does not mean you will forget what they did, and thus the trust they lost will stay the same.

Unloading that baggage of past hurt and regret frees up your mind to focus on more important things, such as being happy and enjoying life with those you love. So that leaves us dealing with poor self-image and self-esteem issues, which is a harder issue since we all have different reasons for being down on ourselves. Could be a combination of us accepting negative opinions of family and/or peers, our own negative opinions of ourselves, and past failures.

You can try to trace things back to their origin, try and figure out why you accepted it as truth, and then accept that it was only opinion, not fact. To be honest there are many self-help books out there dealing with this and if they are not helpful I would suggest getting help from a professional if it is a severe case.

Do your best to change what is within your power and learn to accept the things you can not control or change my friend. Peace and Blessings to all!

Random thoughts-Toxic people, self-worth, and forgiveness

person sitting outdoors
Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Basing your self-worth on other people’s opinions of you and building your self-image on such only leads to a rollercoaster of emotions usually ending you up in depression or in a state of low self esteem. It is human nature to follow such patterns since we enter this world seeking the approval and acceptance of our parents and siblings. Which is fine in the earliest years of our life, but we are supposed to let go of such patterns as we age into young adults.

Unfortunately, many of us either let go of such behavior much later or continue on with it throughout our lives. Sure we can not avoid the opinions of others nor can we let go of that desire to belong and be accepted, but we can learn to navigate with the knowledge that what we think about ourselves is more important. Knowing that our psyche tends to seek approval from others and responds to the opinions of others, we should avoid toxic friends and try to navigate around toxic relatives as much as possible.

There will always be those in your life that do not like you and those that try the hardest to bring you down. Those are people we should try and avoid and ignore their negative comments and actions as much as we can. We should seek out those people that support us, enrich our lives, allong with those who may criticise us in a constructive way. We need some people in our lives that care enough to point out when were going astray just as much as we need those that emphasize with us and/or act as cheerleaders for us.

Toxic friends tend to break you down emotionally and mentally, some of them may not even know they are doing such because they never had positive reinforcement in their lives or a caring family possibly. Do not hate toxic people, just feel sorry for them. They are missing out on the love and happiness they could have in life and embrace the negativity in their lives for the short-lived rush they may feel or the temporary relief from the emptiness they feel.

Being a person that has both been toxic on occasion and the victim of toxic friends I can relate to both sides. On many occasions, I have tried to help some fo those toxic people in my life and rarely did I succeed in helping them because they didn’t want to change their way of thinking or being. This probably was due to my lack of abilities more than anything, so if you want to attempt to help someone who is toxic, I would suggest getting help for them if not seek out help for you to achieve such.

Life is hard enough at times, subjecting yourself to the negativity of toxic people makes it an even harder life to live. I guess there may be some strong enough to deal with toxic friends without suffering the ill effects of being around them all the time.Those people are probably rare and possibly the saving grace for the toxic people in their lives.

Just remember no matter what others may say or think, or even what you may beleive about yourself at times, you are unique and just as important as any other living creature on this planet. There is only one you in this universe and you were born for a reason. Just becuase you can not figure out what that reason is does not mean you do not have purpose in life nor does it mean you are less than anyone else.

If you stop worrying what others might think about you and focus more on how you could impact those around you in a positive and contructive way, you may find that you are quite a good person if you give yourself the chance. Forgive yourself of your past mistakes, and go forward with compassion and understanding. Forgive others as well, since holding onto grudges only does more harm to you than the one you hold the grudge againts. If too much energy is spent on regret and vengence the less energy is left to love others and for you to enjoy the gifts in life that you have.

Evangelical college students often feel misunderstood – what helps boost understanding between students of all faiths?

Do students’ views of people with different beliefs really change on campus? AP Photo/Darron Cummings

Matthew J. Mayhew, The Ohio State University; Christa Winkler, Mississippi State University, and Musbah Shaheen, The Ohio State University

Our research team has studied college students’ attitudes toward evangelicals, a topic that tends to prompt strong reactions.

Some liberals don’t see the topic as worthy of discussion – why study whether Americans appreciate a privileged group with strong influence on society? Meanwhile, many conservatives are adamant that evangelical perspectives are not tolerated, let alone welcome, on U.S. university campuses.

Yet our findings about students’ attitudes underscore important lessons about fostering tolerance and appreciation on campus for any group. Views of evangelicals are particularly interesting, since they highlight the complexities of social privilege: how individuals can feel discriminated against, even when their community as a whole is influential.

Surveying students

The Interfaith Diversity Experiences and Attitudes Longitudinal Survey, or IDEALS, surveyed 9,470 college students from 122 institutions across the country at three times: the beginning of their first year, the end of their first year, and the end of their senior year, which wrapped up in spring 2019. As part of this project, conducted by a team of researchers from Ohio State University, North Carolina University and the nonprofit Interfaith America, we asked students about their attitudes toward religious, spiritual and secular groups, including but not limited to atheists, Jews, Muslims and evangelicals.

We asked students to indicate their responses to four statements on a scale of 1, or “disagree strongly,” to 5, or “agree strongly”:

1) In general, people in this group make positive contributions to society.

2) In general, individuals in this group are ethical people.

3) I have things in common with people in this group.

4) In general, I have a positive attitude toward people in this group.

Our analysis controlled for other variables – such as the institution’s type, selectivity and size, and students’ race, gender, sexual orientation, major and political affiliation – to home in on the specific ways the campus learning environment was related to students’ views about different religious groups.

Compared with their attitudes toward other religious groups on campus, students’ appreciation for evangelicals grew at a slower pace, but still grew. On average, students’ responses showed an increase of over 40% in appreciation toward evangelicals by the end of their first year. By the time students graduated, they demonstrated another 30% increase between the end of their first year and fourth year of college.

Campus climate

After seeing that students’ views of evangelicals improved, on average, we wanted to better understand why.

First, we looked at the experiences students said were related to their gains, such as whether they took a religious studies course. Then, we conducted 18 case studies at institutions of various sizes and affiliations to learn about campus culture and hear from hundreds of students in focus groups. In these groups, we showed students data on the gains reported by their peers on campus and asked them why they thought these gains were made.

We found that appreciation increased for students on campuses they consider committed to inclusion for people of faiths, and people of no faith – regardless of whether the institutions were public or private, large or small, selective or not.

Some students talked about the impact of simply living and studying alongside people from different backgrounds. Many named the influence of interfaith and multifaith centers, spaces dedicated to bringing people from different religions together.

For example, a student at a Protestant-affiliated institution who identified as agnostic noted that she had “experienc[ed] a lot of toxic Christianity” growing up. She credited her interactions with a “progressive Christian” chaplain at her campus’s interfaith center with helping her understand that Christian beliefs and identities are diverse, and not limited to the type of faith she was introduced to as a child.

A crowd of students in a classroom, many of them with their hands up in worship, facing two singers at the front.
Members of a Christian group at California State University Long Beach worship in a lecture hall in 2014. Scott Varley/Digital First Media/Torrance Daily Breeze via Getty Images

Survey data also suggested that, on average, students whose views of evangelicals improved reported having at least two curricular experiences related to religion. This included many type of activities: for example, enrolling in a course specifically designed to enhance knowledge of different religious traditions; reflecting on one’s own religion in relationship to other perspectives as part of a class; and discussing other students’ religious or nonreligious backgrounds in class.

Personal relationships

How students related to one another was another important theme that often came up in discussions about views of evangelicals.

Evangelicals have to negotiate a seeming paradox: As Protestant Christians, who have long held influence in U.S. culture and politics, they belong to a privileged group. Yet many evangelical students say they feel unwelcome and misunderstood because of their beliefs.

Many non-Christian students who themselves feel marginalized because of their identities wrestle with how to make their evangelical peers aware of their relative privilege, and of how their beliefs and actions might affect other students.

For example, one student who identifies as atheist at a small, secular college recalled a Christmas tree put on their door by another student. “The person has literally no idea that that could possibly be upsetting,” they said, but added it was “a very sweet thing to do.” In other words, they believed that the other student was likely ignorant of why the Christmas tree could bother other students, but acting out of good intentions, tempering their anger about the unwelcome decoration.

Many students discussed developing empathy and humility. A Catholic student attending a Catholic college summarized, “Myself being a more liberal Christian, I’m not as accepting of the close-minded evangelical Christian … but that’s kind of being close-minded myself. … So I have to examine myself and be like, ‘I’m okay with them being them, even if I don’t agree with them.’ They’re saying, ‘All of these people are saying let’s accept everybody, but you’re not accepting me.’ And I said, ‘That’s absolutely right.’ … Even in political realms, too, I don’t agree with you, but I need to be okay with you.”

Finally, student gains in appreciation also seemed to stem from recognition that evangelicals are diverse, not one homogeneous group – as with the student who appreciated her conversations with the Christian chaplain at her campus’s interfaith center.

As a research team, we found this project’s findings left us considering ways to address deep divisions in the U.S. today. Some principles apply to fostering respect in many other situations beyond religion, and beyond college, from our offices at work to the halls of Congress: intentionally but empathetically engaging with one another’s differences.

Matthew J. Mayhew, Professor of Higher Education, The Ohio State University; Christa Winkler, Assistant Professor of Higher Education Leadership, Mississippi State University, and Musbah Shaheen, PhD student in Higher Education and Student Affairs, The Ohio State University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

more than our selves

p10061Love and its healing that’s found within its unconditional and nurturing embrace is what we all seek. To be accepted as is and without any condition by another whom we accept in the same way. To Embrace and be embraced with only the other person as our concern. To be selfless and affectionate with the other person as our motive to share love. To find one whom matters more than our selves, to see the kind of love God has given us to share with one another. To see the manifestation of love in the eyes of a child and the wonder within that child’s heart.

The innocence we had lost  can be seen in the eyes of the children and our future is within them as well. Children are the seeds of love we have planted and are the saplings we are supposed to nurture. Look to them for the love we have forgotten through the years of exposure to the worlds cold and selfish ways. Only if we could see the world through the eyes we had as children we could see the simple truth that love is the answer as well as the question.

Love and its healing that’s found within its unconditional and nurturing embrace is what we all have within our hearts.

Ray Barbier

Look in the mirror, For Better Or Worse

A man sleeping on the street of The Bowery in ...
Image via Wikipedia

  We should always be mature and choose to respect others when speaking to and about them. To Gossip or ridicule others is immature and will bring one consequences they may not want to face. Why can’t we just accept each others as who and what we are, To love each other as brothers and sisters in the same house called earth. To Show courtesy and respect towards others is to show respect to ones own self. Honor not only your own, honor that of all others whom you meet. A person with honor, respect and integrity is a rare but wonderful sight to see.

  Look in the mirror and make who you see someone you could love and respect. Look at those around you and see a part of your own self within each and every one of them. We are all much more alike than most people would like to face. One choice or one circumstance is all it takes to make a rich man poor, a lonely man loved and a respected man loathed. One action or circumstance is all it takes to change ones whole life for the better or the worse.

So the homeless man on the corner begging for change could have been me or you if we had made a wrong choice or circumstances had forced us in that direction. I have met a few of them that were quite successful at one time in their life and lost everything due to unforeseen circumstances. Some actually choose to remain homeless, but most would gladly work and move back up if opportunity were to come knocking.

  I guess what I am getting to is that we should respect and care about all our fellow humans regardless of their situation and see that we are all basically the same. Well, we all have to choose the path we follow and how we treat each other, so hopefully we all can choose to have compassion and understanding.

Well Enough of my Babbling for now
Peace and Love to All
Raymond Barbier

Guilt, Mistakes and Self Forgiveness

027 Self forgiveness is something that very few of us ever practice, forgiving one’s self seems to be a much harder task than to forgive others. Why does it seem that to forgive some one is much easier than to forgive our own mistakes and transgressions?  For some reason we tend to be much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. We must realize that like everyone else we are not perfect and therefore we will make mistakes and should learn from those mistakes but not allow those mistakes to control our lives.  We can focus on our positive attributes and our achievements instead of on our mistakes and our negative aspects.  Mistakes being a part of the natural learning process that we all go through and they are beneficial in learning what we should not do.  So making mistakes is something that we all must face in this life that we live.

  Guilt which is an aftereffect of making a mistake is suppose to be a short lived emotion to help us remember that we had made that mistake.  Guilt is not supposed to be a lifelong emotion and if it becomes one it changes from a beneficial emotion into a destructive emotion.  Suffering Guilt for a long period of time is devastating to a persons self-esteem and their personal happiness. Accept the mistakes that you have made, then learn from them and try not to repeat them is about all one can do. Everybody makes mistakes and everyone faces guilt from time to time and that my friend is what being human is all about.

Well till next time

Peace R. Barbier

Considering the Bible

Scripture Musings

ULUA.COM

Ultimate Living Ultimate Aloha ULUA

saveyourmarriage

You Can save your marriage with the right knowledge

Chiecyclopedia

Join The Movement

DIGITALNEWSLINK

Bringing The World Together...

Health and Fitness Better

Information for your best health and fitness.

MindYoga4U

A Site To Learn More About Meditation And Yoga

Shaping Prosperity

Shape Your Mind, Body, and Spirit to Prosperity

tonysbologna : Honest. Satirical. Observations

Funny Blogs With A Hint Of Personal Development

Reasonedandseasoned

Rating without complicating

Writing about...Writing

Some coffee, a keyboard and my soul! My first true friends!

Freaken Sports

Sports news for sporty people!

The Healthily Magazine

Maximum Health, Life, and Love

𝗦𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲, 𝗜𝘁𝘀 A 𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆

Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.”

Eat Think Health

We provide useful articles to help you make the right informed decisions to achieve your health, wellness and fitness goals through exercise and eating right.

AM Yoga Space

All About Yoga Practice, Poses, and Benefits

Lazarus Books

Something For Everyone!

Edge of Humanity Magazine

An Independent Non-Discriminatory Platform With No Religious, Political, Financial, or Social Affiliations

Rooster Crows

From the Roof Top

Life Inspiration 4all

understanding Why Mastering the Art of Perseverance and Self-Confidence is the key to success in life.

Blackxreptiles.com

Reptile breeder and blogger

Irish Myths

plumbing the depths of Irish and Celtic mythology, legend, and folklore

Ominous The Spirit

Ominous The Spirit is an artist that makes music, paints, and creates photography. He donates 100% of profits to charity.

Intellectual Shaman

Poetry for Finding Meaning in the Madness

Learn, live and experience East Asian Cultures

East Asian cultures are a whole world of travels, yoga, meditation, Feng Shui, Buddhism, Hinduism and more. Let us share with you the beauty of East Asian Cultures.

Lifesfinewhine

The Life & Ramblings Of A Zillennial

Thomas W. P. Slatin

American Writer, Photographer, and Website Designer. Former career Fire and EMS Lieutenant. She/Her/Hers. Lesbian.

Art By An Ant

dedicated to everyone who wonders if i'm writing about them. i am.

Miracle of Manifestation

Powerful Laws of Attraction and Manifestation

TechWordly

Best Tech Gadgets Advise

G-FX.NET

Digital Multimedia and Search Engine Optimization

Awake Your Inner Dragon

Combine the mental (mindset), the physical (exercise) & the spiritual (meditation) together to Awake Your Inner Dragon.

Churape's Dungeon and Stuff

Movie, TV, and Game Reviews

SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ

Where The Eagles Fly . . . . Art Science Poetry Music & Ideas

Golf Swing

Improve Your Game

RJB Press

Thoughts, Opinions and More

Stress Free You

My WordPress Blog

%d bloggers like this: