Peace – Dovestar

June 11, 2023

Wabi Sabi: The Zen Way of Appreciating the Beauty of Imperfection and Impermanence

Life is a journey full of twists and turns, ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Nothing stays the same, and everything is constantly changing. This can be scary, frustrating, and painful for many of us who want things to be perfect and permanent. However, there is another way of looking at life that can help us embrace the beauty of imperfection and impermanence: the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi.

What is wabi-sabi?

Wabi-sabi is a term that means finding beauty in the imperfect, impermanent, and simple things in life. It is a way of feeling and living that goes beyond words. Wabi-sabi comes from the tradition of the Japanese tea ceremony that values simplicity and naturalness as expressions of Zen Buddhism. Wabi-sabi teaches us to accept imperfection and impermanence as part of life’s beauty.

How did wabi sabi help me accept imperfection and impermanence?

Wabi-sabi helped me accept imperfection and impermanence in many ways:

It helped me see beauty in the ordinary. Instead of looking for what was missing, wrong, or broken, I started to appreciate what was there, unique, and authentic. For example, I learned to love the cracks in my favorite mug that showed its history and character, or the fading colors of the flowers that marked the passing seasons.
It helped me cultivate gratitude for what I have. Instead of taking things for granted, complaining, or comparing, I learned to acknowledge the blessings and gifts that I enjoy in each moment. For example, I learned to be thankful for the food I eat, the people I love, and the opportunities I encounter.
It helped me let go of attachment and control. Instead of clinging to things that were temporary, resisting change, or forcing outcomes, I learned to accept things as they are, flow with change, and trust the process. For example, I learned to release my expectations of how things should be, adapt to new situations, and embrace uncertainty.
It helped me simplify my life. Instead of accumulating more stuff, cluttering my space, or complicating my choices, I learned to reduce what was unnecessary, clear my environment, and focus on what matters. For example, I learned to declutter my home, donate what I don’t need, and prioritize my values.

How can you practice wabi-sabi in your daily life?

Here are some practical ways you can practice wabi-sabi in your daily life:

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is being aware of the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance. Mindfulness can help you notice the beauty of imperfection and impermanence in yourself, others, and nature. You can practice mindfulness by paying attention to your breath, body sensations, thoughts, emotions, and surroundings.
Practice self-compassion. Self-compassion is being kind and understanding to yourself when you suffer or fail. Self-compassion can help you accept your imperfections and limitations as part of being human. You can practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself with kindness, acknowledging your feelings without judgment, and giving yourself comfort and support.
Practice gratitude. Gratitude is being thankful for what is valuable and meaningful to you. Gratitude can help you accept impermanence by reminding you of what you have rather than what you lack or lose. You can practice gratitude by writing down what you are grateful for each day, expressing your thanks to others, or savoring positive experiences.
Practice creativity. Creativity is being able to generate new ideas or products that are original and useful. Creativity can help you accept imperfection by embracing mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth. You can practice creativity by trying new things, experimenting with different materials or methods, or making something out of nothing.

Conclusion

Wabi-sabi is a philosophy that teaches us how to accept imperfection and impermanence as part of life’s beauty. By practicing wabi-sabi in our daily lives, we can live more peacefully, joyfully, and meaningfully.

I hope this blog post inspired you to look at life differently and embrace wabi-sabi as a way of living. Remember that you are beautiful just as you are and that everything changes for a reason. May you be happy, healthy, and free from suffering.

Ray Barbier

Some Related / Helpful Links

June 8, 2023June 8, 2023

What Eastern Philosophies Can Teach Us About Living a Better Life

We live in a world that is full of challenges, problems, and uncertainties. We often struggle to find happiness, peace, and meaning in our lives. We sometimes feel lost, confused, or hopeless. We wonder if there is a better way to live, a way that can bring us more joy, harmony, and wisdom.

Well, there is. And it is not something new or unknown. It is something that has been around for thousands of years, and that has been practiced by millions of people across different cultures and regions. It is something that we can learn from and apply to our own lives. It is the wisdom of Eastern philosophies.

Eastern philosophies are the various schools of thought that originated in East and South Asia, such as China, Japan, Korea, India, etc. They include philosophies such as Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Confucianism, Zen, and many others. These philosophies have a lot to offer us in terms of how to live a better life. They teach us some profound lessons that can help us improve ourselves and our relationships with others and nature.

In this blog post, I will share with you some of the lessons that I have learned from Eastern philosophies, and how they have helped me live a better life. I hope they will inspire you and help you too.

1. Accept imperfection and impermanence

One of the first lessons that Eastern philosophies teach us is to accept imperfection and impermanence as part of reality. Nothing in this world is perfect, nothing lasts forever, and nothing is separate from everything else. Everything is constantly changing and evolving.

This may sound depressing or scary at first, but it is actually liberating and empowering. It frees us from the illusion of perfection and permanence that causes us so much suffering and dissatisfaction. It helps us appreciate what we have and who we are, without taking anything for granted or being attached to anything. It also helps us embrace change and growth, without resisting or fearing them.

By accepting imperfection and impermanence, we can cultivate a sense of gratitude, humility, and compassion for ourselves and others. We can also learn to enjoy the present moment and the beauty of life.

2. Seek harmony and balance

Another lesson that Eastern philosophies teach us is to seek harmony and balance in ourselves and in our relationships with others and nature. Harmony and balance are the keys to health, happiness, and well-being. They are also the keys to peace, justice, and sustainability.

Harmony and balance mean finding the right balance between opposites or complementary forces that make up everything in the universe. For example, between yin and yang in Chinese philosophy, which represents the feminine and masculine principles; between dharma and karma in Hinduism, which represents the cosmic order and the law of cause and effect; between wisdom and compassion in Buddhism, which represents the two aspects of enlightenment.

By seeking harmony and balance, we can achieve a state of inner peace, harmony with others, and harmony with nature. We can also contribute to the common good and the preservation of the environment.

3. Practice mindfulness and meditation

A third lesson that Eastern philosophies teach us is to practice mindfulness and meditation as a way of cultivating awareness, wisdom, and compassion. Mindfulness is the ability to pay attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and non-judgment. Meditation is a technique or method of training the mind to achieve a certain state or goal.

Both mindfulness and meditation are widely practiced in various forms and traditions of Eastern philosophies, such as Zen Buddhism, Taoism, Yoga, etc. They are powerful tools for enhancing our mental and emotional well-being. They help us develop a clearer understanding of ourselves and reality. They also help us cultivate kindness, empathy, and compassion for ourselves and others.

By practicing mindfulness and meditation, we can enrich our lives with more meaning, joy, and peace. We can also become more connected with ourselves, others, nature, and the cosmos.

Conclusion

Eastern philosophies have a lot to offer us in terms of how to live a better life. They teach us some profound lessons that can help us improve ourselves
and our relationships with others and nature. They help us accept imperfection
and impermanence; seek harmony
and balance; practice mindfulness
and meditation.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post
and learned something new from it.
I invite you to explore more about Eastern philosophies
and see how they can help you live a better life.
.

Thank you for reading
and have a wonderful day.

Ray Barbier

Some Related / Useful Links

How East and West think in profoundly different ways – BBC
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170118-how-east-and-west-think-in-profoundly-different-ways
This article explores how geography, history, and culture can shape our thinking styles and cognitive abilities, with examples from Eastern and Western philosophies.
Differences Between Eastern and Western Philosophy
http://www.differencebetween.net/science/differences-between-eastern-and-western-philosophy/
This article compares and contrasts the main features, themes, and concepts of Eastern and Western philosophies, such as unity, ethics, logic, and metaphysics.
7 Profound Lessons Eastern Philosophy Teaches Us about Life – Learning Mind
https://www.learning-mind.com/eastern-philosophy-life-lessons/
This article summarizes some of the key lessons that Eastern philosophies can teach us about life, such as accepting imperfection and impermanence, seeking harmony and balance, and practicing mindfulness and meditation.

June 8, 2023

How Taoism Can Help You Live a Better Life

Taoism is an ancient Chinese philosophy that teaches us how to live in harmony with the natural order of the universe. It is based on the concept of Tao, which means the way or the path. Taoism shows us how to follow the Tao in our daily lives, and how to achieve balance, peace, and happiness.

Here are some of the main principles of Taoism and how they can help you live a better life:

The Tao

The Tao is the source of all existence and the ultimate reality. It is beyond words and definitions, and can only be experienced directly. The Tao is not a person or a thing, but a process and a flow. Everything that happens in the universe is part of the Tao, and everything is connected and interdependent.

To live in harmony with the Tao means to accept what is, and to adapt to the changing circumstances. It also means to recognize our oneness with all things and to respect and appreciate the diversity and beauty of life.

In our modern world, we often face challenges, conflicts, and stress that can make us feel disconnected, frustrated, or anxious. We may try to control or resist what happens to us, or we may attach ourselves to certain outcomes or expectations. These attitudes can create more suffering and disharmony.

Taoism teaches us to cultivate a flexible and open mind, embrace change and uncertainty, and trust in the wisdom and goodness of the Tao. By doing so, we can find peace, joy, and freedom in any situation.

Yin and Yang

Yin and yang are the two complementary and dynamic forces that make up the Tao. They represent the balance and interplay of opposites in nature, such as light and dark, hot and cold, male and female, active and passive, etc. Yin and yang are not fixed or absolute, but relative and changing. They depend on each other and transform into each other.

Taoism teaches us to respect and harmonize the yin and yang aspects of ourselves and our environment. We need both yin and yang energies to be healthy and balanced. For example, we need both rest and activity, both silence and sound, and both receptivity and creativity.

In our modern world, we often favor one aspect over the other, or we may experience imbalance or conflict between them. For example, we may overwork ourselves or neglect our emotions; we may have too much noise or stimulation or too little; we may have difficulty expressing or receiving love.

Taoism teaches us to observe and adjust our yin and yang energies according to our needs and circumstances. We can do this by practicing meditation, breathing exercises, tai chi, qigong, acupuncture, massage, or other methods that promote harmony and well-being.

Wu Wei

Wu Wei is a key concept in Taoism that means “non-action” or “effortless action”. It does not mean doing nothing or being passive, but rather acting in accordance with the Tao, without forcing or interfering. It is a state of naturalness, spontaneity, and simplicity.

Taoism teaches us to practice wu wei in our daily activities, by following our intuition,
letting go of attachment to results,
and allowing things to happen by themselves.
When we act with wu wei, we are in tune with the present moment, with our true nature, and with the flow of life.

In our modern world, we often act with wei wu wei(the opposite of wu wei), which means “action against action “or “forced action”.We may try to impose our will or agenda on others or on ourselves; we may struggle against reality or resist what is;
we may complicate things or overthink them.

Taoism teaches us to practice wu wei by trusting in the Tao, being humble and flexible, and by enjoying the process rather than focusing on the outcome. When we act with wu wei, we are more effective, creative, and happy.

Conclusion

Taoism is an ancient wisdom tradition that can help us live more harmoniously with ourselves, with others, and with nature. By applying its principles to our modern life, we can discover a deeper sense of meaning, purpose, and joy.

Ray Barbier

Some Useful / Related links

Here are some related weblinks to the blog post:

June 8, 2023

The Benefits of Zen in Modern Society

Zen is more than just a form of Buddhism, it is a way of living that teaches us how to be mindful, compassionate, and creative. Zen originated in China and spread throughout Asia, influencing many cultures and traditions. Zen is not a religion that requires belief or worship, but a practice that helps us discover our true nature and potential.

Zen can be very beneficial for us in this modern society, where we face many challenges and distractions. Here are some of the benefits of Zen:

Zen can help us cope with stress and anxiety. By meditating regularly, we can calm our mind and body, and focus on the present moment. Meditation can also improve our health, by lowering our blood pressure, boosting our immune system, and enhancing our mental clarity.
Zen can help us develop compassion and empathy. By being mindful of our thoughts, emotions, and actions, we can become more aware of how they affect ourselves and others. We can also learn to appreciate the interconnectedness of all life forms and respect their diversity.
Zen can help us unleash our creativity and innovation. By trusting our intuition, we can access our inner wisdom and inspiration. We can also learn to embrace uncertainty and change, rather than fear them. Zen can help us see things from different angles and find new solutions to problems.
Zen can help us enrich our lives and happiness. By practicing gratitude, we can recognize the blessings and opportunities we have in our lives. We can also learn to enjoy the simple joys of life, such as nature, art, music, or food. Zen can help us find meaning and purpose in our lives, rather than chasing after material possessions or fame.

Zen is not something that we can learn from books or lectures. It is something that we have to experience for ourselves, through practice and reflection. Zen is not a destination, but a journey. It is not a goal, but a process.

If you are interested in learning more about Zen, you can start by reading some books by famous Zen masters, such as Thich Nhat Hanh, Shunryu Suzuki, or D.T. Suzuki. You can also join a local Zen center or group, where you can meet other practitioners and receive guidance from teachers. You can also try some online resources, such as podcasts, videos, or apps that offer meditation instructions and tips.

Zen is not a one-size-fits-all solution for everyone. It is a personal path that you have to discover for yourself. However, if you are willing to give it a try, you might find that it can bring positive changes to your life and society.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. If you want me to rewrite it or improve it in any way, please let me know.

Ray Barbier

Some Related / Useful Links

June 6, 2023

The Uses of Buddhist Philosophy in Modern Society

Buddhist philosophy has been around for thousands of years and has been used by many people to help them live happier and more fulfilling lives. In this blog post, we will explore some of the ways that Buddhist philosophy can be applied in modern society.

The main goal of both Buddhist psychology and philosophy is to eliminate suffering and unhappiness. All of us have a great deal of mental suffering and psychological problems because of emotional difficulties. We have many problems because of being irrational and out of touch with reality. But don’t worry! Buddhist philosophy can help you deal with reality – how we understand reality and how we deconstruct our fantasies and projections about reality.

One of the most important concepts in Buddhist philosophy is the Four Noble Truths. The first noble truth is that life is suffering. The second noble truth is that suffering is caused by craving and attachment. The third noble truth is that suffering can be overcome by eliminating craving and attachment. The fourth noble truth is that the way to eliminate craving and attachment is through the Eightfold Path.

Another important concept in Buddhist philosophy is mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment, without judgment or distraction. It involves paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without trying to change them or react to them.

Compassion is another important concept in Buddhist philosophy. Compassion involves feeling empathy for others and wanting to help them. It involves recognizing that all beings suffer and that we are all interconnected.

Buddhism also teaches the importance of non-attachment. Non-attachment involves letting go of our attachment to material possessions, relationships, and other things that cause us suffering. It involves recognizing that everything is impermanent and that our attachment to things causes us to suffer.

In conclusion, Buddhist philosophy can be applied in many ways in modern society. It can help us eliminate suffering and unhappiness, deal with reality, achieve transcendence, develop a modern democratic society, create a socially and ecologically responsible economic system, practice mindfulness, feel compassion for others, and let go of our attachment to things.

So what are you waiting for? Start applying Buddhist philosophy in your life today! You won’t regret it!

I hope you find this blog post helpful. If you have any questions or comments, please let me know.

Ray Barbier

Some Useful Links

May 2, 2023May 2, 2023

Being Right vs. Being Happy: Which do you choose?

Sometimes we get so caught up in being right that we forget about the feelings and well-being of others. That’s when we lose track of what really matters. The people we love, the things we enjoy, and the fact that life is short. What’s the point of being right if you end up unhappy and lonely because of it? Maybe we’re all right in our own way, maybe no one is always right, and maybe it doesn’t really matter who’s right or wrong.

Focus on the important things like enjoying the precious time we have in life with those we love and care about. Set aside your differences and accept each other without condition. Make the most of what you have and help those around you to do the same. In the end, who was right or wrong won’t matter as much as the time you spent with others and the quality of that time.

Understand that we all have different opinions and experiences in life, and get past those things so you can enjoy your time with loved ones and friends. Put love and friendship above opinion and other things in life. It is the time we spend with others that makes our lives meaningful in the end. The older you get, the fewer friends and family you have left in your life, so you realize that they are the most precious things to you.

Also as you age, you look back and regret the time you missed with loved ones and the mistakes you made in those relationships. You also see how foolish some arguments were or how unimportant the whole argument was. Regret always comes with age, but learning from mistakes is how we grow and improve as a person. So don’t hold on to the regret, forgive yourself and move on with that lesson in mind so you don’t repeat the mistakes of your past.

In conclusion, being right is not as important as being kind, compassionate, and respectful to others. We should not let our opinions and differences get in the way of our relationships and happiness. We should cherish the time we have with our loved ones and friends, and make the most of every moment. We should also learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves and others. Life is too short to waste on arguments and regrets. We should live with love and gratitude in our hearts, and enjoy the gift of life that we have been given.

Ray Barbier

April 24, 2023

In ancient times the elders of the tribe were celebrated

In ancient times the elders of the tribe were celebrated and looked upon as wise counselors and leaders. They Told stories of old times, advised the young when called upon, and kept the tribe safe. The Tribe would make sure the elders always had adequate food and shelter and loved them as they should.

Unfortunately, in modern times elders are looked upon as burdens, relics of the past, and disposable. Elder generations starve themselves in order to pay for medications needed to keep themselves alive and to pay rent so that they can have a place to rest their head. Grown children place their parents in rest homes that gladly take the money from social security and barely take care of the elderly in their care.

A Government that sees the elderly as a financial burden on the system and seeks a way to eventually sunset social security and Medicare in the name of fiscal responsibility. I find it so funny how it is bad to spend money to help the elderly and poor but so acceptable if not celebrated to spend money on things that benefit the wealthy and big business.

Considering that a senator can serve one term and get a retirement that is quite above what one would get from social security working their whole life, I guess I can see how they care very little about social security since their own retirement is so secure. Really sad how modern society and the government view and treat our elderly. Everyone deserves to be respected, and everyone deserves an income that is livable.

We need to learn from our history and remember the importance of our elders and all others in the tribe of humanity. People need to vote out those who do not do their job in representing all people in the state they represent and vote for better candidates. Families need to revere the elders and when they have no choice but to put the elderly in rest homes, they need to make sure the rest home is doing the job they are supposed to do.

So much is broken in our modern world, and so much is overlooked and allowed to go on without any oversight or consequences. Too much is lost in the rhetoric of politics and the war for the best ratings in news agencies. So much is lost in the name of popularism and profit, and so many people are forgotten as well.

Do not let your parents, grandparents, and elders in your community be left behind and treated like they are disposable. One day it may be you who are the elder person being cast aside and forgotten. So what you do today to protect the elderly will one day protect you as you age.

Ray Barbier

#elderly #congress

April 8, 2023

Dealing with Toxic People: Strategies for Protecting Your Mental Health

Toxic people are unfortunately a fact of life. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or coworker, we’ve all come across someone who seems to constantly bring negativity and drama into our lives. Dealing with toxic people can be difficult and draining, but there are strategies you can use to protect yourself and maintain your mental health.

Firstly, it’s important to identify toxic behaviors. Toxic people tend to be negative, and critical, and always seem to be in conflict with others. They may gossip or spread rumors, undermine your confidence, or try to control your actions. They may also be manipulative, playing on your emotions to get what they want.

Once you’ve identified toxic behaviors, it’s important to set boundaries. This can be difficult, especially if the toxic person is a friend or family member, but it’s essential for your well-being. You can start by limiting your interactions with them and avoiding conversations that involve negativity or drama. If you have to interact with them, keep your conversations light and focused on positive topics.

It’s also important to remember that toxic people often thrive on conflict and drama, so don’t engage with them when they try to bait you into an argument. Instead, take a step back and remind yourself that their behavior is not a reflection of you. Focus on your own goals and priorities, and don’t let their negativity derail your progress.

Another important strategy is to surround yourself with positive influences. Seek out friends and family members who support you and lift you up, and try to spend more time with them. You can also seek out new social circles or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. By focusing on positive influences, you’ll have a better perspective on life and be better equipped to deal with toxic people when they arise.

Finally, it’s important to practice self-care. Dealing with toxic people can be draining, so it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. You can also practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga, to help you stay centered and focused.

In conclusion, dealing with toxic people is never easy, but it’s important to remember that you have the power to protect yourself and maintain your mental health. By identifying toxic behaviors, setting boundaries, surrounding yourself with positive influences, and practicing self-care, you can stay resilient and focused on your own goals and priorities.

Here are a few websites that may help you with toxic people and mental health issues

Psychology Today – A website that offers articles and resources on psychology and mental health, including tips for dealing with toxic people.
Tiny Buddha – A personal development website that provides articles and resources on mindfulness, happiness, and personal growth. They have a section specifically on toxic people and how to deal with them.
The Gottman Institute – A website dedicated to improving relationships through research-based principles. They have an article on how to deal with toxic people, specifically in the context of romantic relationships.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – A mental health organization that provides resources and support for individuals and families affected by mental illness. They have a section on their website dedicated to dealing with difficult people.
Mindful – A website that offers resources and information on mindfulness and meditation. They have an article on how to protect yourself from toxic people by cultivating mindfulness.

January 23, 2023

Ray’s Thoughts 1-23-23

anonymous ethnic man strolling on ocean beach

Too Much Violence in our country and around the world, lately we have been seeing killings at dance clubs and it seems to be target attacks on minorities or one sort or another. It seems hate has rooted itself in a percentage of the population, it seems bigotry, elitism, and terrorism are becoming too commonplace in recent years. Too many trying to justify hate and violence through belief systems and idealisms.

I never thought I would live to see a time in which there would be so many hate-driven mass shootings/killings in America. How anyone could take the lives of others so easily, why has it gotten to the point that so many have no concept of how valuable life is. Racism is still alive and hate seems to be on the rise around the world. It is sad that after all these years, all the suffering that people had to go through racism still has such a hold on a small but dangerous percentage of the population.

We all are a part of the same species, a species that has done some miraculous things, but we are a species that is stuck in a tribal-like mentality though we claim to be living in modern society. It is really shameful that a percentage of the human race still gives in to fear, hate, and tribal mentality. One would think that we would be beyond such early human instincts and social structures this far down the timeline. When will we as a species get to the point where we see that we all are the same species and that hate and fear are the enemies, not each other.

I guess the fear and hate will continue to grow as long as we keep enforcing the bad practices of using the labels made to describe our differences as a way to separate ourselves from others. Seems too much focus is put on such things as our nationality, race, political beliefs, and one’s religion. We should be focusing on the commonality within the human race. We all need certain necessities to survive, and we all desire to be happy and healthy. We all also desire a better quality of life for ourselves and our children. And I would believe we all would love to live in a world where we wouldn’t have to live with fear or hate. In the end, there is far more we have in common with each other than what is different.

November 9, 2022

Dovestar’s Ramblings 11-9-2022

There are many things in life we have little to no ability to change or affect. There are things though, that we have complete control over in our lives and that is where we should focus our energy on. For example, you may have no control over how others perceive you or how they think about you in general, but you do have control over how you treat other people and how you view yourself. One would hope that how we act and treat others, and the words we chose to have some influence on the opinions of others but in the end, it is something that is out of our control.

Basically, your life is yours to lead, and how you live it has a great influence on how much happiness you have in life. You can live your life selfishly, find some quick self-gratification and temporary bliss from possessions and wealth or you can choose to live a more selfless and humble life. Not everyone is cut out to be like a monk and live without any sort of possessions and be totally selfless, but we can find a balance between serving the ego and serving others.

I believe that we all have been given life not only to live and experience all it has to give but also to be stewards of the earth and to teach, help and love one another. Each one of us has a part to play in this grand design of life and each part is unique to each person. Some of us are here to teach, some are here to heal, and so on. Discovery your the part you are to play is not always easy but usually the gifts you were given usually give you clues as to what you are supposed to be doing in life. One example is if you have a natural talent for playing the piano, you could be here to give people entertainment or teach others how to play the piano or you may write a song that changes the minds of others.

Life can be complicated and so can how your mind works, the mind can be your best asset and it also can be an obstacle. Many people battle with depression, low self-esteem, and poor self-image and that will make it an uphill battle in finding happiness in life. Most of us face the memories of past mistakes and the regrets that come from them and many times we face trauma from past experiences that we have a hard time letting go of as well. And once again we come to things we can not change, things in our past are set and won’t change o matter how much we wish they would. Though we can not change the past, we can change how we deal with those past experiences and memories, how we process them, and how they affect us in the present.

We must let go of our past mistakes and the traumatic experiences we suffered due to circumstances and others. Forgiveness is one step in putting those things behind you, you must forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and forgive others for what they had done as well. Forgiving others serves to free you from the hurt and pain others brought on you more than to free them of guilt. Think about it, how many times have you done something wrong and had been forgiven but yet hold on to the regret? That’s because you haven’t forgiven yourself, so you haven’t released yourself from the grief associated with your mistakes. So forgiving someone is more beneficial to you than it is for the person you are forgiving in the long run.

You can also look at it this way, if the person feels no regret over what they did to you in the first place, then how is the person you are forgiving gaining from your forgiveness? It is about letting go of the hurt, pain, and anger you hold towards the person that has done you wrong in the end. Also Just because you forgave someone does not mean you will forget what they did, and thus the trust they lost will stay the same.

Unloading that baggage of past hurt and regret frees up your mind to focus on more important things, such as being happy and enjoying life with those you love. So that leaves us dealing with poor self-image and self-esteem issues, which is a harder issue since we all have different reasons for being down on ourselves. Could be a combination of us accepting negative opinions of family and/or peers, our own negative opinions of ourselves, and past failures.

You can try to trace things back to their origin, try and figure out why you accepted it as truth, and then accept that it was only opinion, not fact. To be honest there are many self-help books out there dealing with this and if they are not helpful I would suggest getting help from a professional if it is a severe case.

Do your best to change what is within your power and learn to accept the things you can not control or change my friend. Peace and Blessings to all!