Thoughts – Page 4

November 23, 2010

Pleasure in the suffering of others is Childish and Cruel

I often wondered why some people find the misfortunes of others either funny or entertaining. What could drive a person to find enjoyment in such things is beyond my own understanding. I myself could not find any enjoyment or entertainment in the suffering even in my worst enemy. It is cruel minded to find joy or pleasure in the sufferings of others, regardless if they be friend or foe. I guess it boils down to what one defines as just and or justice, If one believes that justice is to see the suffering of the villain or criminal rather than the putting right of which is wrong then maybe that makes it seem ok to find pleasure in the suffering of another.

I believe that the sufferings of others is not to be pleasured in, it is to be abhorred and found a sad or terrible sight. To find pleasure in such things is either madness or a cruel and evil way of thinking. I only hope one day mankind can grow out of such childish thinking and become more compassionate, caring and peaceful.

Peace and Happiness to all
R. Barbier

Matthieu Ricard: Why Pleasure Is Not Happiness (VIDEO) (huffingtonpost.com)
Cynics, Stoics, Epicureans, Neoplatonists, and Mystics (socyberty.com)
Compassion and Suffering (babypickel.wordpress.com)
My Perspectivist, Teleological Account Of The Relative Values Of Pleasure And Pain (camelswithhammers.com)
What is Happiness, and How to be Happy (socyberty.com)
The Goodly Life (xeniagreekmuslimah.wordpress.com)
Childish vs. childlike . [Zahir shamsery] (ecademy.com)

November 23, 2010

Honesty, Definitely a virtue we need.

Honesty, Definitely a virtue which we need more of. Honesty is the best policy, even if there are things you think best untold. To live in truth and not in illusion is the way in which one is to truly live.

To be dishonest is to mark your own soul and to destroy a part of both the dishonest and the one being deceived. We are responsible for every action, thought and word we have in our lifetime. Everything we do, think and or say effects not only ourselves but those around us. Sometimes our actions, thoughts and words effects can travel great distances to effect even those we do not know.

Be careful of what you do,think and say for it will effect you and others in one way or another.

Well enough Babbling for now
Peace to all
R. Barbier

Call for Papers – Reviving Tradition: Virtue and the Common Good in Business and Management (kauffman.org)
Honesty: A Dying Virtue? (socyberty.com)
Honesty, The Only Worthwhile Virtue (socyberty.com)
Negative Behaviour, You Can Get Over It (socyberty.com)
DealBase shows real honesty: displays worst hotel deals (gadling.com)

October 21, 2010October 21, 2010

Look in the mirror, For Better Or Worse

We should always be mature and choose to respect others when speaking to and about them. To Gossip or ridicule others is immature and will bring one consequences they may not want to face. Why can’t we just accept each others as who and what we are, To love each other as brothers and sisters in the same house called earth. To Show courtesy and respect towards others is to show respect to ones own self. Honor not only your own, honor that of all others whom you meet. A person with honor, respect and integrity is a rare but wonderful sight to see.

Look in the mirror and make who you see someone you could love and respect. Look at those around you and see a part of your own self within each and every one of them. We are all much more alike than most people would like to face. One choice or one circumstance is all it takes to make a rich man poor, a lonely man loved and a respected man loathed. One action or circumstance is all it takes to change ones whole life for the better or the worse.

So the homeless man on the corner begging for change could have been me or you if we had made a wrong choice or circumstances had forced us in that direction. I have met a few of them that were quite successful at one time in their life and lost everything due to unforeseen circumstances. Some actually choose to remain homeless, but most would gladly work and move back up if opportunity were to come knocking.

I guess what I am getting to is that we should respect and care about all our fellow humans regardless of their situation and see that we are all basically the same. Well, we all have to choose the path we follow and how we treat each other, so hopefully we all can choose to have compassion and understanding.

Well Enough of my Babbling for now
Peace and Love to All
Raymond Barbier

Running in the Face of Traditional Solutions (homelessness.change.org)
Robber Gives Stuff Back To Homeless Victim (huffingtonpost.com)
Trina Hayes: Surrounded by Addiction: An Opportunity to Open Your Heart to Unconditional Love (huffingtonpost.com)
Crimes Against the Homeless Are Increasing. Compassion? Not So Much. (homelessness.change.org)
Hey Homeless Services, First Do No Harm (homelessness.change.org)
Crisis of ‘hidden homeless’ children comes to light (chron.com)

October 16, 2010

A Day of Birth and Reflections of Years Past.

Another year has past and one more year closer to growing old
Another year gone and with it the world grows even more cold

Cold the world might be but that does not phase the love i feel
The world grows more selfish and that is something that is real.

The light is growing dimmer each day as life slowly slips away from us all.
The source of love still remains strong and we should answer its call.

God is the light that will never burn out and we are mere reflections of his undying love.
His son came to teach us compassion and forgiveness with the gentleness of a dove.

Unfortunately mankind grows arrogant and their hearts are full of a very selfish pride.
Greed and corruption rules over most and from the aftermath there may be nowhere to hide.

With age comes wisdom, experience and hind sight is always 20/20 as we all know.
The piece of wisdom I try to share is to always let your love and compassion show.

Mistakes we may all make in the life we are granted and to learn from them is the key.
Anger is quick to destroy the love and compassion that resides in both you and me.

If you take anything from all the things i write I hope it is to love one another both freely and unconditionally.
For life is too short to hold grudges, place/carry blame for mistakes intentionally done or unintentionally.

Live life to the fullest and don’t allow fear to rule your world for it will only stop you from truly living life.
Don’t hang on to regrets or anger for all that will do is fill your world with unneeded and undeserved strife.

Peace to all
R. Barbier

Self Compassion [Margit "Success" Jones-Hochstrasser,] (ecademy.com)
Charter For Compassion (namaste-land.blogspot.com)
Dr. Manoj Jain: Compassion can move us to break cycle of violence (commercialappeal.com)
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: A Time of Forgiveness (huffingtonpost.com)
Is Forgiveness Manly? (artofmanliness.com)
A day for reconciliation and the compassion we need (lookatvietnam.com)
Matthieu Ricard: Is Compassion Meditation the Key to Better Caregiving? (VIDEO) (huffingtonpost.com)

October 6, 2010

Insecurity, Acceptance and Fear

What is insecurity and why do most people suffer with it in one form or another? Insecurity is usually caused by the lack of acceptance by our peers or the lack of confidence in our own selves. When we are not accepted by our peers we tend to see ourselves as dysfunctional or inferior in one way or another. We tend to value the opinions of others over our own. We allow the opinions of others to control our own self perception and that can create a very negative self image. Though other peoples opinions will always play a part in our lives we must realize that they are opinions not facts. I have watched so many good people be held down or back from their full potential by the opinions and actions of others. Being popular or accepted may have its emotional and social rewards but the popularity can and most of the time usually is short lived.

One should not look outward for acceptance and validation , you should look inward for if you do not accept and embrace who you are then you will never become the person that you truly can be. Each one of us has the potential for greatness within us and each of us has our unique qualities that makes us grand. Some of us have exterior beauty as a gift but that fades with time and age, but all of us have a unique inner quality that will remain with us till our time to leave this world. I guess we all strive for physical appearance and social ranking because we live in a time where everything is so temporary and disposable. We get bombarded with images of how we should look and how our life should be in the many forms of visual media available in this modern age that it makes us feel inferior or lacking in one way or another. Most of the people we see in visual media have been altered by make up, soft filters on the cameras and air brushing on the photo images. This gives the illusion of perfection and beauty that very rarely exists if at all in nature.

There is also the victim mentality that seems to be a mainstream theme in modern society, So many people feel they have been a victim in one way or another in their life. Not saying we haven’t been victimized but to hold on to the mentality of being a victim only keeps one from moving on and living life. Why waste the time we have here on earth worrying about what has happened when we could be celebrating what is now and is yet to come. Fear is another factor that seems to be a road block to happiness if it is held on to and allowed to be a daily occurrence. Fear has its place but is meant to be short lived, when we allow it to stay for too long it grows and takes control of our daily life. Living in constant fear keeps us from enjoying life the way we are meant to. As one of our presidents said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself and he was 100% right. I always like the line from the movie Dune that was Fear is the mind killer and if you really think about it that is true. Fear seems to consume ones every waking moment and thought when it is present. It makes us only focus on that which caused the fear and keeps us from thinking of the greater things in life.

Well enough of my babbling for today
Peace
R. Barbier

Why We Judge (windandheart.blogspot.com)
The Secret Reason Why Your Life Is Boring (rejectiontherapy.com)
The Importance of Acknowledging Your Strengths (prinyourpajamas.com)
Dr. Cara Barker: How Are You Keeping Fear Alive? 3 Steps You Can Take to Build Self-Confidence (huffingtonpost.com)
Insecure: Get Over it and Be Happy Part III (lesbiandating.net)
Douglas LaBier: Redirect Your Life Towards Sanity in Today’s Turbulent World (huffingtonpost.com)

September 30, 2010

Limits, Boundaries and Habits

Do we limit our own selves? Is one of the main reasons we do not succeed and can not be happy the fact we don’t allow our selves to do so? I always wondered if this is a fact or just another random thought we all get that helps fuel our guilt complexes. I do believe in some cases we do set our own boundaries and limit ourselves in order to keep within our comfort zone. Some people do not like change and rather stay in a unhappy but yet comfortable life then to risk it getting worse or taking on new challenges they fear they will be unable to handle.

When we are children we set our limits and goals by the standards and expectations of both our peers and our family. We take the opinions of those around us and give them the power of authority because when we are children we take everything at face value and as true. By the time we start realizing not everything we see and hear is always true we already have set up a behavior pattern and set many of the boundaries or limits we will live by for the rest of our lives. Though some may and can change by influential experiences and by the influence of others basically they will not change much.

Alas there is always hope because the human brain is reprogrammable and so is the limits and boundaries we have set or accepted. To change both your limits and boundaries is not an easy task because you have to basically ignore the programming long enough to set new boundaries and limits. It is kind of like a bad habit you’ve been doing for years, though difficult to break the habit it is not impossible. Look at people who smoked for over 20 to 30 years and quit. They had to not only break the habit of wanting to put a cigarette in their mouth but the addiction of nicotine. Many have succeeded in quitting smoking and so many have also failed. This shows how difficult it may be to face a habit and addiction but it also shows you can beat both if you are determined enough.

Most of our negative thoughts and the boundaries / limits we have are basically habitual behaviors that can be overcome through time and determination. We have to want to change our limits and boundaries in order to succeed, just like one must really want to quit smoking in order to do so. We also must realize we can achieve much more than we presently believe we can and see that we are only limited by our own thoughts and beliefs. This makes me remember a line from a song I had to sing back in a elementary choir “Nothing is impossible until you try” it was from a Thomas Edison themed school function.

Allot of the times when I feel that I can not do more or better I look at all those in the history of mankind who overcame great odds to achieve wondrous things. People like the early colonial Americans who challenged one of the greatest military powers of the time to achieve freedom and the creation of both the constitution and the great nation of the United States. So many historical examples of men and women who broke through their limits and boundaries to challenge the odds and win. They are proof that anything is possible if you allow yourself to be limitless and break through the boundaries set by society, peers and your own self.

Get out of your comfort zone and discard those limits and boundaries that keep you from being all you can and should be. Be who you want to be and beyond, bring the uniqueness of your individuality to the table of life and be proud of who and what you are. Let no one tell you you are anything but great and wonderful for we all are a par of a wonderful and extraordinary species called the human race.

Well enough of my ramblings for now
Peace and Love to you all
Ray Barbier

Kick Your Smoking Addiction Without Requiring Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT) (stepbysteptips.com)
Happiness, Excellence and Boundaries: A Framework for Leaders (Part 3 of 3) (edbatista.com)

September 30, 2010

Thinking of Friends

Sometimes I just sit here and think of all the friends I have known through out my life and wonder where all of they are and how they are doing now. All those friends from my childhood and teen years that I moved away from back in the late 80’s those that I hung out with after school and those that were just a school acquaintances. I wonder if any of them ever think about me if even remember me. It is very interesting how we form friendships and alliances during our youth and how easy the friendships and alliances disappear through both the progression of time and the increasing of the distance of space between. Then there are a few friendships that seem to never be effected by the test of time. I also find it funny how our memories can be distorted by time and even fade into fuzzy recollections as we age.

Looking older is never been much an issue for me but the one thing that does bother me about growing older is the loss of the friendships I had and the slow increase in loneliness i feel due to the lack of friends. I miss having the group of friends I hung out with at times and I feel as if my world is shrinking day by day. So many friends I had have died or were lost to time and distance. I guess humans are generally social creatures and as we get older the social aspect of being human becomes less and less as we go through life. I have a few friends left from my childhood and teen years but they are far away and busy with their own lives as much as I am so we communicate less than I would like us to. This is mostly my fault due to my busy schedule so I enjoy the time I have to communicate when I can.

Sometimes I sit here and remember the days when I and my friends had so much fun and faced the challenges of growing up together. I hope all of them are doing well and hope to see all of them at least one more time in this short life we all live. I wish them all well and that they have a great life along with happiness in their life and the lives of their loved ones.

May Peace and Understanding Guide you All Though your Lives.

Ray Barbier

Friendship (socyberty.com)
Teens today prefer friendship in groups (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
Remember what Friendship really means (abusiveviews.wordpress.com)
Reasons Why Friendships End (socyberty.com)
So falling in love costs us friends? Good – most of us need to cull (independent.co.uk)

August 24, 2010September 6, 2010

Prayer, Faith and His Will or Ours

I used to wonder why that sometimes it seemed GOD sometimes wouldn’t answer my prayers. I figured out he was answering them it was that some prayers he answered no to and others he answered in ways I didn’t understand at the time. Then there were many prayers that were unanswered due to my lack of faith in him. God loves all of us regardless if we believe in him or not, Just like a father he loves his children both the good and bad. He helps all of us both by answering our prayers and by brining us experiences in our life to enrich us or teach us.

A friend of mine once stated like many others had done, If god exists and loves us then why would he allow famine, war and disease on earth. It is man who brings war and allows famine to be in this world. Mankind’s will is what spawns the majority of our sufferings. The problem is Man chooses his own will over that of God’s which pretty much says Man thinks he is the master instead of God. There are many who put God’s will before their own, yet its a very small amount of people compared to who that don’t. We are yet his children and even though we ignore his advice and will, He will still help us in times of need. But due to ignoring his advice and will we will have much more problems to face in our life.

If a father tells his son, Son do not drink alcohol it will eventually consume you and your life and the son ignores the warning usually that son will have a very high chance of alcoholism and possibly the related health issues related to drinking. If the son heeds the fathers advice he avoids all the pitfalls of drinking. This is similar to what god has done, he has warned us in the bible of the pitfalls of both sin and putting our own will above his and most of us chose to ignore it. Though we will have to face many of the negative aspects of our choice to not follow God’s will he still loves us.

Have faith in him and pray for his will to be done on earth as in heaven, Repent and ask for strength to resist the temptations of life.

God Bless

Ray Barbier

August 22, 2010September 6, 2010

Guilt, Mistakes and Self Forgiveness

Self forgiveness is something that very few of us ever practice, forgiving one’s self seems to be a much harder task than to forgive others. Why does it seem that to forgive some one is much easier than to forgive our own mistakes and transgressions? For some reason we tend to be much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. We must realize that like everyone else we are not perfect and therefore we will make mistakes and should learn from those mistakes but not allow those mistakes to control our lives. We can focus on our positive attributes and our achievements instead of on our mistakes and our negative aspects. Mistakes being a part of the natural learning process that we all go through and they are beneficial in learning what we should not do. So making mistakes is something that we all must face in this life that we live.

Guilt which is an aftereffect of making a mistake is suppose to be a short lived emotion to help us remember that we had made that mistake. Guilt is not supposed to be a lifelong emotion and if it becomes one it changes from a beneficial emotion into a destructive emotion. Suffering Guilt for a long period of time is devastating to a persons self-esteem and their personal happiness. Accept the mistakes that you have made, then learn from them and try not to repeat them is about all one can do. Everybody makes mistakes and everyone faces guilt from time to time and that my friend is what being human is all about.

Well till next time

Peace R. Barbier

Learning to Forgive (lifescript.com)
Purpose of Forgiveness (dragonintuitive.com)
Understanding the lost art of repentance and its urgency (jta.org)
7 reviews of Guilt (rateitall.com)

August 21, 2010September 6, 2010

Just Rambling on about emotions.

Anger serves a purpose but is meant to be a temporary state of emotion not a way of life. Anger is designed for the purpose of self preservation and defense , It is a response to a negative force we encounter and usually turns off after the event. Sometimes anger will linger and cause great physical distress which is not its true design. Instead of anger we are supposed to have a memory of the incident and the mistrust or caution mentality. To hold on to anger for too long of time it creates a negative effect on your social and physical well being. To allow any emotion to be in control of you and your daily life is unhealthy. Emotions should be under your control not the other way around. Taming emotions that have gone wild and has gained control of your life is not an easy task. But like any challenge we face in life it is possible with determination and allot of self control. Though meditation, hypnosis and plain common sense one can regain control over their emotions within time. The first step is to realize that your emotions are in control of you and that you need to regain control of them.

Some people choose to ignore or try and shut off their emotions and this also creates problems for your body and mind. Learn to experience your emotions when they come and then learn to let go of them once they are no longer necessary. Mankind has always had to deal with their emotions and how they can both be beneficial and devastating to the individual who experiences them. Too much emotions is bad just as too little of emotions is also bad. Find a balance between both extremes and learn to be the master of them and all will be well. When a emotion becomes too strong and uncontrollable find a way to express that emotion and to get it out of you. Writing, exercise, and any form of artistic expression usually are good ways to express and release the emotions you are dealing with. There are many other ways to deal with the overbearing emotions one can experience and each person needs to find the best way for them.

Depression is one of the most devastating emotions one must face and when facing it I would suggest not doing it alone, Talk to your family and friends about your sadness and ask them for help and if it is a very severe case do not feel ashamed to go ask for help from your physician or a therapist. Being depressed may be natural from time to time but it is not normal to be depressed all of the time.

Well enough rambling for today.

Peace.

R. Barbier