Aloha: The Secret to Health, Happiness and Harmony in Hawaiian Healing

Discover the Secrets of Hawaiian Healing

Have you ever wondered how the Hawaiians manage to stay healthy and happy in their tropical paradise? The answer lies in their ancient healing tradition that has been handed down for centuries. In this blog post, you will learn some of the secrets of Hawaiian healing and how you can use them to improve your own well-being.

What is Hawaiian Healing?

Hawaiian healing is based on the principle that everything is connected and that we are all part of a bigger whole. The Hawaiians call this principle aloha, which means love, compassion, and harmony. Aloha is not just a word that they use to greet or say goodbye, but a way of living in balance with themselves, others, and nature.

Hawaiian healing also acknowledges that there are different levels of reality: the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual. Each level influences the others, so to heal one level, you need to heal all levels. The Hawaiians use various methods and techniques to address each level and restore harmony and health.

What are some Hawaiian Healing Methods?

One of the most famous Hawaiian healing methods is La‘au Lapa‘au, which means medicinal healing. This method involves using plants from around the island and in neighboring forests to treat various ailments and diseases. Most Hawaiian medicinal plants are foods that have additional curative properties. Healers view food as medicine, along with fresh, clean air and water.

Another Hawaiian healing method is Lomilomi, which means massage. This method involves using gentle strokes and stretches to relax and heal the body. Lomilomi also incorporates the use of warm stones and implements like a wooden spatula or a coconut shell to stimulate blood flow and release tension.

A third Hawaiian healing method is Ho’oponopono, which means to make right. This method involves using four simple phrases to clear and heal any negative emotions or thoughts that may be affecting your relationships with yourself or others. The four phrases are:

I am sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

By repeating these phrases sincerely and with intention, you can release any resentment, guilt, anger, or fear that may be blocking your happiness and health.

How can you practice Hawaiian Healing?

You don’t need to travel to Hawaii to practice Hawaiian healing. You can start by applying some of the principles and methods in your own life. Here are some suggestions:

Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables that are native to Hawaii or your own region. Some examples are pineapple, papaya, coconut, taro, sweet potato, and ginger.
Massage yourself or a loved one with coconut oil or another natural oil. Use gentle strokes and focus on the areas that need attention.
Practice Ho’oponopono whenever you feel upset or hurt by someone or something. Say the four phrases in your mind or out loud until you feel a sense of peace and relief.
Cultivate aloha in your daily life. Be kind, compassionate, and respectful to yourself and others. Appreciate the beauty and abundance of nature. Express gratitude for all that you have.

Hawaiian healing is a powerful way to heal your body, mind, and spirit. By following some of these tips, you can experience more health, happiness, and harmony in your life.

Thanks for reading!

If you want to learn more about Hawaiian healing, you can visit some of these websites:

James Kawainui – Native Hawaiian Healer | Ancient Wisdom: This website belongs to James Kawainui, a native Hawaiian healer, mentor, and spiritual strategist who comes from a lineage of healers, mystics, and priests. He offers online courses, consultations, and retreats on various aspects of Hawaiian healing.
Traditional Hawaiian Healing – Hui Mālama Ola Nā ʻŌiwi: This website belongs to Hui Mālama Ola Nā ʻŌiwi, a non-profit organization that provides health and wellness services to Native Hawaiians on Hawaiʻi island. They offer community workshops, classes, training, and consultations on traditional Hawaiian healing methods such as la’au lapa’au (herbal medicine), lomilomi (massage), ho’oponopono (conflict resolution), and more.
Traditional Healing – Nā Puʻuwai: This website belongs to Nā Puʻuwai, a non-profit organization that serves the Native Hawaiian community on Molokaʻi and Lānaʻi. They support the Kūpuna Council, a group of traditional healing masters who protect and perpetuate the Native Hawaiian healing knowledge, history, values, beliefs, and spirituality.

I hope you find these websites helpful and informative.

Ray Barbier

May 12, 2023

The Secret Science of Mind Over Matter: How Your Thoughts Affect Your Health and Happiness

How to Use Your Mind to Change Your Reality

You may have heard the saying “mind over matter”, but did you know that there is scientific proof that your thoughts can affect your body and your environment? In this article, I will show you some of the amazing ways that your mind can shape your reality, and how you can use this knowledge to improve your health, happiness, and well-being.

Choose Your Words Wisely

Words have power. They can create or destroy, heal or harm, inspire or discourage. The words you use to yourself and others can affect your physical and mental health in profound ways.

One of the most fascinating studies on this topic was done by Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese researcher, and author. He exposed water to different words, prayers, music, and environment, and then froze it to see the crystals that formed. He discovered that the water exposed to positive words, such as “thank you” and “love”, formed beautiful and symmetrical crystals, while the water exposed to negative words, such as “fool” and “hate”, formed ugly and distorted crystals.

This is amazing because water makes up 80 percent of our bodies and rice. Many people have repeated Emoto’s experiment with rice and found similar results. The rice in the jar with positive words stayed fresh, while the rice in the jar with negative words turned rotten.

This means that the words you use to yourself and others can affect every cell, tissue, and organ of your body. David Chamberlain, a San Diego psychologist and one of the early pioneers of Pre and Perinatal Psychology, found that babies can be hurt for life by unkind words said at birth, such as “What’s wrong with her head?” or, “Wow, this looks like a sickly one.”

So be careful with your words. Use them to uplift yourself and others, not to tear them down.

Believe in Your Healing Power

Another way to use your mind to change your reality is through belief. Belief can activate your brain’s self-healing mechanisms and alter your perception of reality.

Two examples of this are hypnosis and placebos. Hypnosis is when a person becomes more open to suggestions and changes in their body and behavior. Placebos are fake treatments that have no real effect but make people feel better because they believe they work.

Both hypnosis and placebos can produce amazing changes in the body and behavior. For example, hypnosis can help people with chronic pain, irritable bowel syndrome, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Placebos can help people with pain, anxiety, depression, nausea, asthma, Parkinson’s disease, and even cancer symptoms.

How do they work? One way is that they influence the brain to release chemicals that help the body heal itself. Another way is that they change how people see reality by creating positive expectations and reducing negative emotions.

So believe in your healing power. Use positive affirmations and visualizations to boost your confidence and well-being.

Be Present and Aware

A third way to use your mind to change your reality is through awareness. Awareness is being present and mindful of what is happening inside and outside of you without judging or reacting.

Two practices that can help you develop awareness are meditation and mindfulness. Meditation is when you focus on one thing, such as your breath, a word, an image, or on awareness itself. Mindfulness is when you pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and environment with curiosity and openness.

Both meditation and mindfulness can have amazing effects on your brain and body. For example,
meditation can make your brain bigger and better in areas related to learning, memory,
emotion regulation, empathy, and compassion. Mindfulness can lower your stress hormones,
inflammation markers, blood pressure, heart rate variability,
and chronic pain.

How do they work? One way is that they make your brain more flexible and adaptable by creating new connections between neurons. Another way is that they help you cope with challenges by making you calm
and resilient.

So be present and aware. Use meditation
and mindfulness to enhance your brain
and body.

Here is a possible conclusion for the second article:

Conclusion

Your mind is a powerful tool that can change your reality. By choosing your words wisely, believing in your healing power, and being present and aware, you can use your mind to improve your health, happiness, and well-being. Remember, mind over matter is not just a saying, it’s a science.

Here are some web links to research into mind over matter:

Ray Barbier

May 2, 2023May 2, 2023

Being Right vs. Being Happy: Which do you choose?

Sometimes we get so caught up in being right that we forget about the feelings and well-being of others. That’s when we lose track of what really matters. The people we love, the things we enjoy, and the fact that life is short. What’s the point of being right if you end up unhappy and lonely because of it? Maybe we’re all right in our own way, maybe no one is always right, and maybe it doesn’t really matter who’s right or wrong.

Focus on the important things like enjoying the precious time we have in life with those we love and care about. Set aside your differences and accept each other without condition. Make the most of what you have and help those around you to do the same. In the end, who was right or wrong won’t matter as much as the time you spent with others and the quality of that time.

Understand that we all have different opinions and experiences in life, and get past those things so you can enjoy your time with loved ones and friends. Put love and friendship above opinion and other things in life. It is the time we spend with others that makes our lives meaningful in the end. The older you get, the fewer friends and family you have left in your life, so you realize that they are the most precious things to you.

Also as you age, you look back and regret the time you missed with loved ones and the mistakes you made in those relationships. You also see how foolish some arguments were or how unimportant the whole argument was. Regret always comes with age, but learning from mistakes is how we grow and improve as a person. So don’t hold on to the regret, forgive yourself and move on with that lesson in mind so you don’t repeat the mistakes of your past.

In conclusion, being right is not as important as being kind, compassionate, and respectful to others. We should not let our opinions and differences get in the way of our relationships and happiness. We should cherish the time we have with our loved ones and friends, and make the most of every moment. We should also learn from our mistakes and forgive ourselves and others. Life is too short to waste on arguments and regrets. We should live with love and gratitude in our hearts, and enjoy the gift of life that we have been given.

Ray Barbier

May 1, 2023

Other People’s Opinions, your self-image and self-esteem

Throughout life, you have to face things such as peer pressure, social pressures, and judgment by your peers. It starts as early as your childhood, first in your home then even more in your school years. It never ends, you have to deal with the opinions of others around you and you have to deal with their impression of who you are. This puts a lot of stress on you and your self-image and self-esteem.

Some people seem to naturally or instinctively deal with such things with little effort or negative effects on their emotional and mental well-being, others take it all to heart and internalize all of the opinions and judgments aimed at them and wind up with poor self-esteem and poor self-image. I wonder what is the difference between both of those types of people, is it that some do not care what others think, or do they just have a better sense of self so what is thrown at them bothers them less?

Either way, if you are the type of person who takes other people’s opinions of you to heart and allows them to decimate your self-worth and self-esteem, you need to learn techniques in dealing with such. Finding the right tools to help you cope with such things and find ways to improve your self-image and so on.

How to Deal with Other People’s Opinions of You

One of the biggest challenges we face in life is how to deal with other people’s opinions of us. Whether it’s our family, friends, coworkers, or strangers, we often encounter criticism, judgment, or rejection from others who don’t understand us or share our values. Sometimes, these opinions can hurt us deeply and make us doubt ourselves and our worth.

But the truth is, other people’s opinions of us are not facts. They are just perspectives, based on their own experiences, beliefs, and biases. They don’t define who we are or what we can do. They don’t have the power to change our reality unless we let them.

So how can we deal with other people’s opinions of us without letting them affect our happiness and self-esteem? Here are some tips:

Remember that you are not responsible for other people’s opinions. You can’t control what they think or say about you, but you can control how you react to them. Don’t take their opinions personally or let them influence your decisions. You are the only one who knows yourself best and what is right for you.
Focus on your own opinions of yourself. The most important opinion you have is the one you have of yourself. Be kind and compassionate to yourself. Recognize your strengths and achievements. Celebrate your uniqueness and authenticity. Don’t compare yourself to others or seek their approval. You are enough as you are.
Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Choose to spend time with people who respect you, appreciate you, and encourage you. People who inspire you, challenge you, and help you grow. People who love you for who you are and not for who they want you to be. These are the people who matter the most and whose opinions you should value.
Learn from constructive feedback but ignore destructive criticism. Not all opinions are equal. Some opinions can be helpful and beneficial, while others can be harmful and detrimental. Learn to distinguish between constructive feedback and destructive criticism. Constructive feedback is honest, respectful, and specific. It aims to help you improve and grow. Destructive criticism is rude, vague, and general. It aims to hurt you and tear you down. Learn from the former but ignore the latter.
Express yourself confidently and respectfully. Don’t be afraid to share your opinions, thoughts, and feelings with others. Don’t let other people’s opinions silence you or make you feel ashamed. You have the right to express yourself and be heard. But also be respectful of other people’s opinions, even if they differ from yours. You don’t have to agree with them or change them, but you can acknowledge them and try to understand them.

Remember that other people’s opinions of you are not your problem. They are their problem. You don’t have to let them affect your happiness and self-esteem. You are a unique and valuable person who deserves respect and love from yourself and others.

Improving your self image and self esteem

Self image is how you see yourself, and self esteem is how you feel about yourself. Both are important for your well-being and happiness. However, many people struggle with low self image and self esteem due to various factors, such as negative feedback, unrealistic expectations, social comparison, or past experiences.

If you are one of them, don’t worry. You are not alone, and you can improve your self image and self esteem with some simple steps. Here are some tips to help you:

Recognize your strengths and achievements. You have many qualities and skills that make you unique and valuable. Make a list of them and remind yourself of them often. Celebrate your successes and learn from your failures. Don’t let others define you or put you down.
Be kind and compassionate to yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend. Speak to yourself positively and respectfully. Avoid harsh criticism and self-judgment. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and accept yourself as you are. You are worthy of love and respect.
Challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs. Sometimes we have distorted or irrational thoughts that affect our self image and self esteem. For example, we may think that we are not good enough, that we have to be perfect, or that we can’t change. These thoughts are not true and they only limit us. Try to identify them and replace them with more realistic and positive ones. For example, instead of thinking “I can’t do anything right”, think “I can do many things well and I can improve on others”.
Take care of your physical and mental health. Your body and mind are connected, and they influence each other. When you take care of your physical health, you feel better mentally, and vice versa. Eat well, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and avoid substances that harm you. Also, practice relaxation techniques, such as meditation, breathing exercises, or yoga, to reduce stress and anxiety.
Do things that make you happy and fulfilled. Find hobbies and activities that you enjoy and that bring you joy. Express yourself creatively through art, music, writing, or any other form. Learn new things and challenge yourself. Volunteer for a cause that you care about or help someone in need. These things will boost your confidence and self-esteem, as well as make your life more meaningful.

Improving your self image and self esteem is not easy, but it is possible. It takes time, patience, and practice. But it is worth it, because you deserve to feel good about yourself and to live a happy life.

Remember: You are amazing just the way you are! 😊

Ray Barbier

April 28, 2023

The Amazing Benefits of Yoga and Meditation for Your Mind and Body

How Yoga and Meditation Can Transform Your Health and Well-Being
Are you looking for some simple and effective ways to improve your health and well-being? If so, you might want to consider adding yoga and meditation to your daily routine. These ancient practices have been shown to have many benefits for both your mind and body, according to various scientific studies.

In this blog post, we will share some of the findings from these studies and explain how yoga and meditation can help you live a happier and healthier life. You will also learn how to get started with these practices and find the best style for you.

Yoga and meditation can boost your brain power
One of the benefits of yoga and meditation is that they can enhance your cognitive abilities, such as memory, learning, reasoning, and decision-making. A Harvard Health article reports that yoga may counteract age-related declines in memory and other cognitive skills. Research also shows that yoga and meditation may improve executive functions, such as reaction time and accuracy on tests of mental acuity.

This means that by practicing yoga and meditation regularly, you can keep your brain sharp and prevent cognitive decline as you age. You can also improve your performance at work, school, or any other activity that requires mental focus and clarity.

Yoga and meditation can reduce stress and anxiety
Another benefit of yoga and meditation is that they can help you cope with stress and anxiety, which are common problems in today’s fast-paced world. The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) has a clinical digest for health professionals that summarizes the scientific literature on yoga for health. The digest states that yoga may help with anxiety among children and adolescents.

Yoga and meditation can also help you relax and calm your mind by regulating your breathing, heart rate, blood pressure, and hormones. By doing so, you can lower your levels of cortisol, the stress hormone that can cause inflammation, weight gain, insomnia, depression, and other health issues.

“Yoga is not a religion. It is a science, science of well-being, science of youthfulness, science of integrating body, mind and soul.” – Amit Ray

Yoga and meditation can strengthen your immune system
A third benefit of yoga and meditation is that they can boost your immune system and protect you from diseases. A study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that yoga and meditation appear to have a positive effect on the central nervous system as well as the immune system. The study also found that yoga and meditation may improve the individuals’ overall sense of well-being.

Yoga and meditation can do this by increasing the production of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a protein that promotes the survival and growth of nerve cells. BDNF is also involved in immune response, metabolic regulation, and resilience to stress. Additionally, yoga and meditation can modulate the levels of pro- and anti-inflammatory cytokines, which are involved in the functioning of the immune system.

How to get started with yoga and meditation
If you are interested in trying yoga and meditation for yourself, you might be wondering how to get started. The good news is that there are many resources available online or in your local community that can guide you through the basics of these practices.

You can find online videos, podcasts, apps, books, or courses that teach you how to do various yoga poses or meditations. You can also join a yoga studio or a meditation center where you can learn from experienced teachers and meet other like-minded people.

The most important thing is to find a style of yoga or meditation that suits your preferences, goals, and abilities. There are many types of yoga (such as Hatha, Vinyasa, Bikram, etc.) and meditation (such as mindfulness, mantra, transcendental, etc.) that you can choose from. You can also experiment with different durations, frequencies, times of day, or settings for your practice.

The bottom line is that yoga and meditation are powerful tools that can help you improve your health and well-being in many ways. By incorporating them into your daily routine, you can enjoy the benefits of these practices for years to come.

We hope you enjoyed this blog post and learned something new about yoga and meditation. If you did, please share it with your friends or leave us a comment below. We would love to hear from you!

Ray Barbier

April 26, 2023

To the young, I say take the risks when you can, they may pay off in the future.

Somedays I just sit here and reminisce about my younger years, the passion I once had, the dreams I had, and how time has eroded most of that away. I look back and see how many opportunities I let slip by me and the results of missing those opportunities affect my current life. Too many what-ifs plague my mind at times and that takes away from my ability to make better choices in the present moment. Though I am aging and am slowed down physically due to some poor choices I have made, I still try to continue on this path before me.

To the young, I say take the risks when you can, they may pay off in the future. Live in the moment but remember to prepare for the future ahead of you. Shrug off any fear you may have, it only holds you back and keeps you from moving forward and possibly keeps you from the gifts laying before you. It is far better to try and fail than to regret never trying later on in life, and most of all plan for retirement from the very start.

Life is not as long as you think it is when you are young, it will pass you by in a flash and you will find yourself wishing you had done far more while you were young and able. Also, the older you get the less people seem to respect you or care about your well-being it seems. Unfortunately, this world is too indifferent toward the needs and wants of the older population. Too many see older people as disposable and rather turn a blind eye to them and their issues than care for and celebrate them and their life and contributions to the world we now live in.

Do not let life pass you by and leave you on the roadside like litter, plan and be prepared for the so-called golden years ahead of you. They will sneak up on you way faster than you could possibly imagine. Have compassion for those who were blessed enough to make it to the later years of life and respect them as well. The older generation happens to be the people who helped build the world you live in today.

Ray Barbier

April 25, 2023April 25, 2023

We should not just ignore and be blind. We should care and be kind.

It amazes me how we humans can turn a blind eye to the troubles of this world and act as if they do not exist. Maybe it is because we feel helpless to change them, or maybe it is because we are too cozy in our own little worlds. But I believe this way of living is detrimental, not only to ourselves but also to the world we inhabit.

We should not be ignorant of the pain of others, the unfairness of society, the damage to nature, and the dangers to our future. We should not act as if everything is okay when it is clearly not. We should not just wish that someone else will solve things for us. We should take accountability for our deeds and their outcomes. We should be mindful, empathetic, and active.

I understand it is difficult to face reality sometimes. I understand it can be daunting and frightening. I understand it can make us feel sorrowful, furious, or hopeless. But I also understand that ignoring reality will not make it disappear. It will only make it worse. And I understand that we have the ability to make a difference if we decide to.

We have the ability to assist others in distress, fight for what is right, preserve and heal our environment, and determine our fate. We have the ability to create a better world for ourselves and for future generations. We have the ability to live a significant and satisfying life.

But we have to use that ability wisely and responsibly. We have to open our eyes and see what is happening around us. We have to open our hearts and feel what others are feeling. We have to open our minds and think of solutions. And we have to open our hands and take action.

We should not just ignore and be blind. We should care and be kind.

Ray Barbier

April 24, 2023

In ancient times the elders of the tribe were celebrated

In ancient times the elders of the tribe were celebrated and looked upon as wise counselors and leaders. They Told stories of old times, advised the young when called upon, and kept the tribe safe. The Tribe would make sure the elders always had adequate food and shelter and loved them as they should.

Unfortunately, in modern times elders are looked upon as burdens, relics of the past, and disposable. Elder generations starve themselves in order to pay for medications needed to keep themselves alive and to pay rent so that they can have a place to rest their head. Grown children place their parents in rest homes that gladly take the money from social security and barely take care of the elderly in their care.

A Government that sees the elderly as a financial burden on the system and seeks a way to eventually sunset social security and Medicare in the name of fiscal responsibility. I find it so funny how it is bad to spend money to help the elderly and poor but so acceptable if not celebrated to spend money on things that benefit the wealthy and big business.

Considering that a senator can serve one term and get a retirement that is quite above what one would get from social security working their whole life, I guess I can see how they care very little about social security since their own retirement is so secure. Really sad how modern society and the government view and treat our elderly. Everyone deserves to be respected, and everyone deserves an income that is livable.

We need to learn from our history and remember the importance of our elders and all others in the tribe of humanity. People need to vote out those who do not do their job in representing all people in the state they represent and vote for better candidates. Families need to revere the elders and when they have no choice but to put the elderly in rest homes, they need to make sure the rest home is doing the job they are supposed to do.

So much is broken in our modern world, and so much is overlooked and allowed to go on without any oversight or consequences. Too much is lost in the rhetoric of politics and the war for the best ratings in news agencies. So much is lost in the name of popularism and profit, and so many people are forgotten as well.

Do not let your parents, grandparents, and elders in your community be left behind and treated like they are disposable. One day it may be you who are the elder person being cast aside and forgotten. So what you do today to protect the elderly will one day protect you as you age.

Ray Barbier

#elderly #congress

April 16, 2023

Dovestar’s Ramblings 4-16-2023

I don’t know, it may just be me but this recent trend in the USA of book banning seems to be censorship, it also seems to be motivated by some people’s prejudices and hatred of certain groups in society. The one that really gets me is the banning of books with the words butt and fart in them. That sounds so much like a South Park episode in which parents tried to ban a cartoon that featured the exact same thing. I guess it is all about one’s point of view there.

It is truly sad that in the land of the free that a few can decide what the many can see, read or do. Censorship is a dangerous thing, first people may censor things that may not be as important to you but then in time they censor more and more till there is only one view available in literature, and news, and allowed in public. It’s a dangerous slope to be walking along here people. Once you start down that road it sets you up for total censorship.

It seems like the right to pursue one’s happiness is only a right if it agrees with the beliefs and values of the most vocal group. You are only allowed to be happy if it is what others dictate as acceptable. I wonder if that is how the founding fathers saw it? I wonder if they wanted only a small group to be happy and the rest of the country to just fall in line and suffer or be denied their happiness.

I doubt they wanted it to be the pursuit of happiness if it is dictated by a single group or person. Does not matter if you like or believe in the way another individual seeks out happiness, that is their choice and life. I do however believe it is your right to speak your mind on the issue but not in a hateful or hurtful manner. If someone else dislikes your choice of how to seek happiness, you too must respect their opinion and not be angry or hateful in return.

Then we come around to the issue at hand, the fear of parents about their children being influenced by others. This has always been an issue, not just now and not just with the current issues being fought over. In the past, it was such things as religion in schools, desegregation, sex education, and so on. First off if you teach your children well at home about the things you fear, then those children should be well-armed to deal with the influences found in school and from peers.

Schools have been saddled with too much responsibility in trying to teach children social values. It is a hard balancing act and making sure the classrooms are inclusive and safe for all children regardless of their differences is not an easy task. Trying to teach children tolerance and respect for all people, regardless of their religion, color, sexual preference, and so on, should not be on the teacher’s shoulders but it should be the responsibility of the parents. The sad part is it seems there is a failure in that regard both in school and at home for some kids.

Jesus forgave and accepted all sinners, he taught forgiveness not judgmentalism. God is the judge, so we should leave the judging to him, we should instead love and forgive as we were taught by Jesus. To accept a sinner and love him/her is not accepting their sins. We all sin, and no sin is greater or lesser than another, and all is forgivable except one and that is blasphemy of the holy ghost/spirit. So why do we hate certain groups because of a certain sin, if we are to hate sinners then we must hate everyone including ourselves.

If you hate others, then you deny yourself the chance to know them, to understand them, and even the chance to be friends with them. Just because they live in a way you dislike or don’t understand doesn’t mean that they are not a good person. They are just different from you in that particular way. Look beyond your differences, put aside the things you see as unacceptable in each other, and look at the person in front of you and see them as who they really are.

I guess it boils down to this, you shouldn’t try to impose the values and morals of the religion you chose to follow on others. You should only apply those values and beliefs to yourself. It was your choice to believe in and follow the religion you chose and thus you must apply those values to yourself. Other people have chosen other paths in life and they are responsible for their own choices and actions. This does not mean you can not preach or try to counsel or advise. Just means you should accept it if they choose to do differently.

Love all people, regardless of their differences and shortcomings. Be a messenger of love and compassion not the harbinger of hate. and do your best to be a teacher or a preacher and not a persecutor. In the end, the choice is all yours, you can walk your path in the manner you chose and treat others the way you see fit. Just remember you are accountable for how you treat others in life and that you will reap the fruit of the seeds you have sewn in your life.

I wish everyone a happy life and love-filled days along this path of life.

Ray Barbier

April 8, 2023

Dealing with Toxic People: Strategies for Protecting Your Mental Health

Toxic people are unfortunately a fact of life. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or coworker, we’ve all come across someone who seems to constantly bring negativity and drama into our lives. Dealing with toxic people can be difficult and draining, but there are strategies you can use to protect yourself and maintain your mental health.

Firstly, it’s important to identify toxic behaviors. Toxic people tend to be negative, and critical, and always seem to be in conflict with others. They may gossip or spread rumors, undermine your confidence, or try to control your actions. They may also be manipulative, playing on your emotions to get what they want.

Once you’ve identified toxic behaviors, it’s important to set boundaries. This can be difficult, especially if the toxic person is a friend or family member, but it’s essential for your well-being. You can start by limiting your interactions with them and avoiding conversations that involve negativity or drama. If you have to interact with them, keep your conversations light and focused on positive topics.

It’s also important to remember that toxic people often thrive on conflict and drama, so don’t engage with them when they try to bait you into an argument. Instead, take a step back and remind yourself that their behavior is not a reflection of you. Focus on your own goals and priorities, and don’t let their negativity derail your progress.

Another important strategy is to surround yourself with positive influences. Seek out friends and family members who support you and lift you up, and try to spend more time with them. You can also seek out new social circles or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. By focusing on positive influences, you’ll have a better perspective on life and be better equipped to deal with toxic people when they arise.

Finally, it’s important to practice self-care. Dealing with toxic people can be draining, so it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. You can also practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga, to help you stay centered and focused.

In conclusion, dealing with toxic people is never easy, but it’s important to remember that you have the power to protect yourself and maintain your mental health. By identifying toxic behaviors, setting boundaries, surrounding yourself with positive influences, and practicing self-care, you can stay resilient and focused on your own goals and priorities.

Here are a few websites that may help you with toxic people and mental health issues

Psychology Today – A website that offers articles and resources on psychology and mental health, including tips for dealing with toxic people.
Tiny Buddha – A personal development website that provides articles and resources on mindfulness, happiness, and personal growth. They have a section specifically on toxic people and how to deal with them.
The Gottman Institute – A website dedicated to improving relationships through research-based principles. They have an article on how to deal with toxic people, specifically in the context of romantic relationships.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – A mental health organization that provides resources and support for individuals and families affected by mental illness. They have a section on their website dedicated to dealing with difficult people.
Mindful – A website that offers resources and information on mindfulness and meditation. They have an article on how to protect yourself from toxic people by cultivating mindfulness.